DOOOOOOOOOOOM I say!

It started when Peppermist decided she wanted to go on the band trip in February. I knew then that I’d need to get her at least a State ID for the trip, and of course SHE was certain that meant I would let her take her Drivers Permit test. The boy, of course, said no way – since I hadn’t let HIM get HIS until just before his 16th birthday, because I just wasn’t ready and he was already mad that she got her cell phone a year before he did. (….inorite?)

ANYWAY, I quickly ran into a problem – I’d put the kids Social Security cards in a safe place so that I wouldn’t lose them. And…promptly forgot where the hell that place was. Whoops. No problem, I knew where their birth certificates were, so it’d be simple to get them the cards right?

Wrong.

You see, apparently, to get a replacement SS card, you need a picture ID. And, as stated, I couldn’t get her a picture ID without a SS card. And her School ID wouldn’t count, because it doesn’t have her birthday on it. OH ISN’T THIS FUN? FINALLY, after getting the runaround for months, they said they’d accept a copy of their shot records, as long as it was stamped by the Health Center making it semi-official.

So, papers in hand, I get them all signed up, I’m told it’ll take two weeks for them to get here, which is plenty of time to get a State ID, so everything’s cool, right? RIGHT! So they arrive in the mail…. The Boy’s, the Pup’s… and that’s it.

The one. card. i. needed. and it. didn’t. come!

NOW I started to panic, but I gave it another week just to be sure, and FINALLY Peppermist’s card showed up. Which brings us to today…

You see, she leaves on Tuesday, and because I’m all about procrastinating (tomorrow…) and she had no school today, I took her over to the DMV to get her State ID. On the way there, I told her “If you think you can pass, I’ll let you take the test to.” KNOWING that she’d only read the book twice, and not for some time. She assured me she could, and that she’d thumb through the book while we waited.

Fine.
(NONONONONONONONONO)
Whatever.

So our number is called, and it turns out that the lady who we were dealing with, not only was the one who passed The Boy when he took his driver’s test, but ALSO happens to be a chaperon on the upcoming band trip! SCORE! I HAVE A SPY! We joked around a bit, and she went to take the test, and 15 minutes later?

She passed. In fact, she only missed 2, which is better than the Boy did (much to her delight). Which means?

I now have ANOTHER teenage driver in my house.

Hold me.

It was a BIG WEEKEND here at Casa de Lessa, folks, dominated by the PreTeen and her cousins and the Big Swim Meet in Soldotna. Oh yes, there was kids to wake up early, early, the buglet to be dropped off here with Peppermist, the others to get to the pool, dressed in swim gear and on deck by 9am for warm-ups for the meet to start at 10:15.

That’s stupid early for a Saturday, ya’ll.

But there we were, our collective four kids on deck, on time, with our spot in the bleachers staked out, programs and highlighters and cameras and sharpies in hand – the later gets a real workout, see the picture to the left, ready for five hours of cheering on The Pup, Ladybug, Bug, Dman and all their teammates. (Why yes, I am the crazy cheering mom. Why do you ask?)

It was an especially nervewracking day for the pup, as she had decided to swim a brand new event: The 100yd Individual medly. She knows all the strokes, of course, but there’s the ORDER to remember, and TWO HAND WALL TOUCHES, and DON’T DQ and OMG MOM I’M SO NERVOUS! Peppermist, loving big sister that she is, told the pup an “easy” way to remember the stroke order: just remember that you can BUTTER the BACK of your BREASTs, FREEly. This, naturally, spread through the team like wildfire, and MUCH laughter resulted – including laughter DURING THE BACKSTROKE LEG by the pup AS SHE SWAM.

INORITE?

All our kids had a VERY successful meet, though. Not only did the Pup swim that IM, but it got her her very first DUCKY! The winner of each heat gets a little rubber ducky as a prize, and the pup has been sure she’d NEVER win one – and then she did! VERY happy Pup – in fact, they handed it to her, she looked up to find us in the stands and held that ducky high in the air as we all cheered VERY LOUDLY for her. She could have fallen off the blocks in every race thereafter and not cared. She had a Ducky. A PRINCESS ducky, even, with a PURPLE crown.

She didn’t fall off the blocks though – in fact, she pulled out a 3rd place heat finish and a 2nd place heat finish as well, and improved on all of her times. The Ladybug swam her first 50yd Freestyle (She’s a wee bit of a thing, and usually swims 25s) AND she also won a ducky for herself! All Bug’s hard work paid off and he got to swim the Freestyle relay with the BIG BOYS – including his teammate who recently got the chance to swim with Michael Phelps. There is no SMALL amount of hero worship going on THERE, I’ll tell ya!

And then, Dman, my 13 year old nephew, he tells me “I’m never gonna win a ducky, you know.” I, of course, reminded him that the Pup felt the very same way and today was her day. His day was coming. NOT TEN MINUTES LATER – GUESS WHAT HE DID? That’s right, Dman came away from the pool with his very first Ducky too!

And in between it all, there was Dman and his Girlfriend, who also happens to be the Coach’s daughter. There’s nothing quite as fun as teasing two thirteen year olds as they follow each other around the pool. There were a lot of “Remember! 6inchs of light between you!” and nudges and winks, and chuckling. And then? We spotted them waaaaaaaaaaay across the pool, sitting in folding chairs under the yellow sign, waiting for Dman’s next event. I looked at Mama, and Nana, because I saw them first.

Me: That’s NOT 6 inches…
Mama: oooooooh HELL NAW.
Nana: BUSTED!

So we yelled the girls name across the pool, to get her attention – we knew Dman would just ignore us, and she’d answer – and followed it by “THAT’S NOT 6 INCHES!” complete with gestures demonstrating the proper distance between them, and were rewarded by them jumping apart, BRIGHT RED BLUSHING, and looks that could kill.

God, I love teenagers!

Needless to say, we spent the weekend pretty well pumped. The Boy even showered the Pup with affection and attention, and took her out to breakfast Sunday morning to celebrate. If you’d like to see the Pup – here’s her video of all her events. Note that she beat that girl for her ducky by a FULL POOL LENGTH. Yeaaaaaaaaaah, baby! Way to do it in STYLE, baby girl!

So how was YOUR weekend?

TGIF – because if it weren’t for it being Friday I’d be all ready to give up!

You see, my darling baby boy (Yeah, the one that’s a foot taller than me – what’s your point?) came home the other day flinging things and searching under and growling and muttering under his breath. It seems that when he was at the local superstore, he changed in the bathroom out of his work clothes – and apparently left his wallet sitting on the sink.

…

He realizes this a full 24 hours later, chaos ensues, and lo and behold -no wallet. So, we hit the bank right away to cancel his bank card, and then checked the lost and found and with the desk, and no one had turned it in. He had receipts and stuff in there that were pretty important, but mostly it was his bank card and his license. Which meant he couldn’t drive out to his buddies house that night, because with HIS luck, he’d get stopped. Not good. Unhappy boy.

So I calmed him down, and today, we head to the DMV when he got home from school. He woke me up (I tend to sleep in the mornings after they go to school – specially after being unable to sleep the night before, actually getting UP and starting a pot o’beans n ham at 5:30 am!) – and then nagged and rushed until I headed out the door to the DMV – his favorite place in the whole world.

Not.

I fill out the paperwork, and settle in to wait. It was less than 10 minutes, so I was like SCORE – we’re gonna get out of here fast! And then she asked for an alternative ID for my son and I realize… it’s still sitting on my desk.

Oy.
Supermom FAIL.

So I call Auntie, she says she’ll grab it and bring it to us, but she had to finish what she was doing, and then she picked up Peppermist and the dog, and then the dog got out, and then she finally got to the DMV and the dog got out AGAIN and we had to chase him down, and then! Finally! an hour after we started to do something simple…

Success! Replacement License procured!

Only for me to have to tell him he can’t have the car overnight because his little sister has a Swim Meet tomorrow and I need the car. Some days, I just can’t win.

At least we still have ham’n'beans still a slow cookin – and it smells FANTASTIC. Redemption approaches…

Dude, I ALWAYS wanted to do this. Alas, I’m several years too old to be Stuck at Prom! However, this years contest is gearing up, and starts March 1st! What contest, you say?

The one where you and you’re prom date make your prom outfits entirely from Duck Tape! INORITE?! Here in Alaska the joke is we can fix anything with duct tape and bailing wire, though shockingly the entries from Alaska for Stuck At Prom are few and far between!

Check out the gallery! There are some AMAZING outfits (that’s last year’s winner on the left here)! And it’s not all just for fun and giggles, oh no – they’re giving away 20 Scholarships to celebrate their 10th Anniversary!

It’s really very simple! Here are the rules, and then it’s just four steps, really. Create an outfit, Make the top 10, Earn Votes/Survive each Week/Win Scholarships! This year the first place winners receive a $3000 scholarship, second place will receive $2000, and third $1000. Runner’s up get $500.

If nothing else, if you enter, you KNOW that you’ll have the most unique prom outfit at your school – so there’s nothing to lose! So, what’re you waiting for? break out the Duck Tape and design away!

Wonder if THIS would convince my boy to go to prom this year…

So – we’re knee deep into winter now, and this is right about the time that everyone in my household succumbs to the Sickness to some level. It usually has to do with the temperatures dipping to negative AreYouKiddingMe? degrees, and my teenagers inability to actually WEAR the coats they own. Because, like, that’s SO uncool, mom… (coughhack sneezeshiver fevergroan).

The ever lovely Mary Ann dropped me a line recently (and I’ve been a BADBLOGGER, and kept her waiting while I hibernated! So sorry, Mary!) to let me know that Triamimic totally has our back once again. Worried that it’s not just a cold, and it’s that dreaded flu everyone’s talking about? Wondering just how much danger of contracting said flu you child is in? Absolutely fascinated to know exactly where all these flu germs are coming from in your state?

No problem! You can keep tabs on the spread of flu in your state by clicking around on the little map basted on data from SDI Fan and track the activity levels in your area so that you can prepare, and hopefully get YOUR teenagers to wear their coats! Maybe even a HAT that like, won’t totally mess up the ‘do! Though, if you discover how to make Teenage Boys wash their hands regularly, you may have done the impossible, and I might have to beg for lessons…

Not only that, but if you click on the image above, you can get a coupon for Triamintic, and you can click here to play with the map (those darn Anchoragites are in the red! Maybe I should move to Wyoming!) to check out the Could and Cough guide, get tips on how to fend off the Flu, and even FAQs about Triaminic itself!

See – I TOLD you they had our back! Check it out today!

Now that Christmas is over, many of us are fearing opening our credit card bills as they come due this month – making smart money choices isn’t something many of us grew up with – or if we did, sometimes it’s simply hard to remember when it comes time for the holidays. And when your teenager asks for $10 bucks for this, for that, and it adds up… suddenly the thought of teaching them to make smart money choices might be a good idea!

And you’re not alone. Experts agree that starting early is a major key to later financial successes – and the National Foundation for Credit Counseling has recently announced their 2010 Poster contest to get kids involved and give them a head start toward a smart financial future.

The ever lovely Julie dropped me a note not long ago to make sure I knew about the contest, and now I’m passing that information on to you. This years theme is “$mart Money Choices = A Brighter Future” and in an effort to increase interest in financial literacy in our nation’s youth, they NFCC is sponsoring the Be Money Wi$e National Financial Literacy Poster Contest. Here are some of the details:

The contest is designed to get young students thinking about how to manage money efficiently and offers them a creative outlet to demonstrate their knowledge. It also provides the opportunity for local and national recognition for student artwork. All finalists will receive a commemorative t-shirt, and each national grade category winner will receive an award plaque and a $100 savings bond. In addition, the National Winner will be given an all-expense paid trip to Washington, D.C., with a parent or guardian and will be given official recognition in April as part of the Financial Literacy Month on Capitol Hill!

Who can enter? All school-aged children grades 3-12 are eligible, and there will be local and national winners chosen from three grade categories. The entries will be judged by expression of the theme, artistic style, creativity and need to be submitted through an NFCC Member Agency for judging. The deadlines are all in February 2010, so be sure to check out MoneyWisePOsterContest.org to get more detailed information, rules, entry forms, and find out where to submit!

So what are you waiting for? Get your kiddo creating and learning today!

I hope everyone is sufficiently recovered from their New Years Eve festivities in time for this, the first Monday of a brand new year to rear it’s ugly head! Before we move forward this year, I thought I’d finish off the fun we had here at Christmas time and beyond – because I know you’ve been asking yourself “What else has Lessa been up too?!” Right? Right!

So, I mentioned the awesome gift Peppermist got me – she knows I’m obsessed with pacman, original arcade style, yo! – and she got me a blue ghostie! That walks! Which is about 15 shades of AWESOME, ya know? So I was playing with it (…shush you…) while listening to my Glee Soundtrack (..if you ain’t listening and lovin’ Glee, I’m not sure we can be friends!) on my shiny new iPod Touch that the boy is still in trouble for and the Thong Song came on. And since my Ghostie was already holding my headphones…

And well. Who am I to resist the siren call of such an opportunity?! Observe…

INORITE?! So. Very. Awesome.

And as proof that I have THE BEST Teens on the planet, including the ones I kinda adopted – The Twins decided to spoil me/us too, and got me an old fashioned popcorn maker! It’s a little mini version of the BIG ones at the Theater, ya know? And it makes DELISH fluffy popcorn, which we can salt and butter to our liking, and we’ve gone through a metric ton of the stuff after stealing Nana and Papa’s popcorn kernals – cuz we didn’t have any of our own. Heh. (Yes, Nana! The Popcorn Fairy will arrive with more soon, all fresh popped and delish!) It’s a BIG hit, and we’ve eaten the Pup’s Weight in the stuff since it was delivered. Thanks girls!

What else – OH YES. For Christmas, Peppermist, who wants to be the Alaskan Ace Of Cakes, received an awesome basket of cake decorating goodies and cake mixes from Nana to practice with! Thus, a couple nights ago, Peppermist armed herself with Auntie’s icing recipe, and took over the kitchen for her very first cake decorating experience.

There were mutterings, there were ponderings, there was the decision to simply use pink because she likes it so THERE mama. She was determined to learn to make an icing rose – and when she bounded around the corner happily to show off a perfect rose, I couldn’t help but applaud. I asked her if it was on the first try – and she said yes…around a mouthful of pink icing. Hahahah!

The cake turned out pretty damn well, especially for her first time. I look forward to sampling many other creations over the years to come. Nana’s already put in her order for her upcoming birthday, even.

Watch out, Duff! The Alaskan Ace Of Cakes is on her way!

Yesterday, a friend of mine twittered that she’d come across a question from a 14 year old who wants to have sex – and wondered what to say to her. Knowing my answer was going to be way more than 140 characters, I asked if I could broach the subject here, instead. Randi graciously agreed.

Now, a couple disclaimers – the question was asked anonymously on an advice site, so there’s some differences as to how I’d answer, vs talking to one of my own teenagers, but the gist of it remains the same. Also – you know me, my greatest sermon is to TALK TO YOUR KIDS, not to push abstinence. That said – what would I say to this 14 year old?

First, after praising them for taking the time to think through the decision, and ask advice because that shows signs of maturity – I’d ask the all important question: Why?

Why do they feel the need to have sex right now? Is it because all their friends say they’re doing it/have done it/will do it soon? Is it because they have a boyfriend/girlfriend? Is it because they WANT a boyfriend girlfriend? Do they feel said boyfriend/girlfriend will leave them if they don’t? Have they thought about the consequences, are they ready for an emotional bond, is this just a whim, or because they feel it’s something they need to do – and why do they have that need?

The important thing here, though I know you’ll want to pepper questions at them rapid-fire, just the way I typed them, is to let them talk to you, let them tell you the answers, and don’t judge them/fight against the answers when they come. You want your teens to be honest with you, which means you have to accept the answers they give. If they fear that their boyfriend/girlfriend will leave them, that relationship is doomed anyway. They won’t want to hear that – so make sure, make SURE they know you are not judging them. Sex is not a way to get/keep any relationship, and that’s an important point to get across to our teens.

We may not always remember – but we all had the same urges at the same age. It suddenly seemed like EVERYONE was having/talking about sex, the hormones were going wild, and that guy/girl in science class smelled REALLY good. Our bodies were suddenly in overdrive, and our mind didn’t quite keep up. Rational thought suddenly seemed the myth, and that feel good moment was within reach…

But as we learned, and as our teens will have to learn too, that feel good moment is just that – a moment. An important one, and one that they need to think about ahead of time and make sure they’re ready for the responsibility that comes with sex. That means open and frank talks about STDs, Pregnancy, Protection, and even date rape and violence.

If you come across this question anonymously, avoid the pitfalls of judging, and be open to let them ask more questions. Be honest in your replies, and ask the hard questions – they want to be responsible enough to have sex, then they need to be responsible enough to really examine why they want too. If they can’t? They’re not ready. Be open, be honest, be non-judgmental. Chances are if they are asking this anonymously, they fear their parents judging and reaction – so encourage them to be responsible, and to talk to their parents, too.

If your teen comes to you – congrats! You’ve done something RIGHT, so don’t blow it now. Relax, keep the lines of communication open, and answer their questions, and ask some of your own. Listen to the answers, don’t judge them even if everything in your being wants too. They know you’re there for them, so be there.

Then, in both cases, counsel them to get to a clinic stat for birth control options and further education. Immediately. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200. Go straight to condoms, aisle 5.

(Unless of course, you think you’ll need $200 worth of condoms, in which case MY AREN’T WE OPTIMISTIC!)

I’m the type of mom – like so many of us parents are – who wants my kids to have everything, or at least some of the things they want desperately. First, of course, comes what they need, then what they want, but especially at Christmas? What hey want is also important. It’s hard when we can’t afford those types of things, and I find myself doing things I wouldn’t normally do in order to ensure that some of those things find their way under the tree. I accept help from the school, and as soon as I can I plan to pay that forward, and return the favor. And I also take advantage of the fact that my kids are old enough now to have some Big Topic Talks.

Which was how, a few weeks ago, I was able to put a plan into motion. It went kinda like this:

Me: So, Santa’s broke, still. And I was thinking…
Peppermist: Did it hurt?
Pup: Thought I smelt something burnin…
Me: …brats. I was thinking that WE(Wii) might ask Santa for one family gift that WE(Wii) might enjoy together, that WE(Wii) might like instead of individual gifts.

It took them a couple minutes, but finally it broke through and the cheers went up “WE(Wii) WOULD LOVE THAT.”

The boy, of course, said he didn’t care. He was more about things for his truck, and tools, than anything else. So while I put things for that into motion behind the scenes, I worked to get the Wii the girls wanted so desperately. The boy was then THRILLED to discover extra cash in his account for the truck. Mission accomplished.

The other request was one of those stupid fuckin’ Zhu Zhu pets. Those things, with all the accessories that the pup wanted with it, too, are way to expensive. Instead, then, while she was hiding out at Aunties, the teens and I got her a REAL hamster, cage, ball and book about the care and keeping of the little bugger. She was THRILLED – well, first, she was confused because we gave her everything in the box the cage came in, THEN brought out the hamster from where he’d been hiding in Peppermist’s room – THEN she as THRILLED. And shocked. And NutterButter has a doting human to shower him with affection – and I still came out ahead cash-wise. Heh.

The smiles on my kids – and my niece and nephews – faces is more than enough of a gift for me. That’s all I want, is for them to feel special everyday – but at Christmas especially. But the Boy… that darn boy… He decided it wasn’t going to be enough for HIM this Christmas. He wanted me to feel special, to have something I wanted, but would never get for myself, or let him get for me had I known he planned too. It was too much – and I was completely shocked…

Yup – that’s an iPod Touch (cradled next to my many chins), and my son? Is in SO MUCH TROUBLE… as soon as I get over the awesomeness of my new toy…

… yeah, he’s pretty safe. And has been excused from gift giving to mom for like, the next 2-5 years of birthdays, mother’s days and Christmases. hehe.

So here’s hoping that you and yours were able to get some of the things you needed, some of the things you wanted, and more importantly, were able to see though the squeals and squabbles and mounds of shredded wrapping paper to discover just how special your family is as they crowded around you. Especially if they were nice enough to give you ONE DAY to take as many pictures as you wanted, without making faces, hiding, or worse.

Even if it makes you see JUST HOW TALL your lil tiny baby is next to you and Nana… Sigh.

Merry Christmas, PTB readers. Bring on the New Year!

So, my son, while he was still driving my car a couple days ago (His truck is fixed now, WHEEE! Well, mostly. It was making an odd noise when the Boy left for work… anyway) I got this GIDDY call from my sister.

Her: I’m TELLIN!
Me:…tellin what? (damn, what did I do?
Her: Did your son call you?
Me: …. nooooooooo (oh shit, what did HE do now…)
Her: he just called Uncle to pull him out of the DITCH!
Me: ….in MY CAR?

So yes. The boy had gone around the corner, and in his typical fashion (I imagine) was “drifting” (though I’ve TOLD him that drifting is done on PAVEMENT not snow – what they do is SLIDING) and put himself in the ditch. At least, that’s what I assumed. I also figured that he wouldn’t call and fess up, because his daddy? NEVER would have.

He surprised me.

Boy: So… has your car been in the ditch yet?
Me: Not while I’VE been driving it..
Boy: CRAP. Auntie tattled, didn’t she.
Me; Oh yes she did.

Now, the boy’s story is this: He was minding his own business, driving down the middle of the road and SUDDENLY AND HE DOESN’T KNOW HOW OR WHY he was in the ditch, and unable to get out, even with my 4×4.

Umhm. He still sticking to the story too. Uncle pulled him out, he got to work on time, and I forgot about it really, until Auntie and I went shopping together today and I went and picked her up. And she pointed out the tire tracks. Now, I’m not gonna continue to tell the boy that _I_ think he was “drifting” and slid too far, because he knows. However, I WILL give you the following evidence and let you decide yourself.

Observe:

Now, sure. SOME of those tracks are from the Truck that pulled him out. HOWEVER, please note the width of the road:

Ummmmmmmmhmmmmmm.
I rest my case.

You, my darling son, can tell me whatever ya like – but you been BUSTED.