PostHeaderIcon Well, THAT was fast…

So, remember a whole three days ago when I posted here about the first girlfriend, and also, first kiss? Well, it seems that it wasn’t a match made in heaven. Give me a moment while I mourn. Ok, I’m done!

It seems that C wanted to talk, and in the interest of ‘preserving their friendship’ she was already ready to let this whole Dating My Son thing go. The Boy is actually handling it fine, he just shrugged and was pretty “whatever” about the whole thing. It was, after all, only a few days. This opened up some fun conversations though as we talked through it on the way to his friends house. To give you an idea of just how irreverent a mother I am, here’s how it went.

Me: So, you ok?
(Note: This is not the irreverent part. I’m not THAT heartless.)
Him: Yeah, I’m fine.
Me: Think maybe she got spooked by Z and B’s breakup and how they’re not really friends anymore?
Him: s’possible. She didn’t really say. She just wants to be sure we stay friends.
Me: Guess that’s ok. NOT Friends with Benefits though.
Him: But MOOOOOOOOOOM! (chuckle, chuckle)
Me: school starts wednesday though. Lots of new girls. Without boyfriends.
Him: yeaaaaaaah. (smirky grin that I love so much – because it’s just like mine.)

Me: You know, I think the NEXT time you get a girlfriend, you should at least be able to take her out on an official date before she breaks up with you.
Him: Yeah, that’d probably be best.
Me: Unless the kissing is just REALLY that bad…
Him: (…blush.)
Me: I meant YOUR kissing, by the wa….OW! What was THAT for?!
Him: because.
Me: harumph. Fine. We won’t discuss the quality of your kissing then. Whatever.

Me: You know, your papa will be disappointed.
Him: Why?
Me: he had a whole bunch of jokes ready with her name.
Him: awww. I’ll find him another good one.

(A car speeds by, with a couple girls waving at him – he was driving during these conversations, did I not mention that? Driving lessons will be covered another day. When my heart resumes normal speed.)

Me: someone you know?
Him: Nope. Someone I might wanna know.
Me: You’ve been broken up for THREE WHOLE HOURS… and you’re ALREADY trolling?
Him: what can I say..
Me: You DOG you. Your daddy would be SO proud.
Him: I know, huh?
Me: (groans.) I’m doomed. DOOMED!
Him: heh.heh.heh.

So there you have it. A prime example of how to talk to your teenagers. Well, if your kids are my kids, anyway. And if you were me… ok – so this is just an example of the kind of tomfoolery that happens even when we talk of semi-sensitive matters.

Just wait till you see how I handled THE talk…

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Things teenagers say...
  • ...on school trips and internet friends -

    Me: HEY! Internet Friend! The HS band is on its way to Miami on Wednesday!
    Internet Friend: Sweet!
    Me: yeah, so, all of the punishments for rule-breaking involve "sent home at parent's expense" and since, ya know, i don't HAVE any spare expense? I just told Peppermist if she fucks up, she was staying in Florida with you.
    Internet Friend:... I hope to god you were kidding...
    Me: ....why would I kid about something like that *wide eyed*
    Peppermist: but I thought your internet friends LOVED ME? TEAR!
    Internet Friend:...I have one 58 alcoholic child to deal with. I don't think I could handle another.
    Peppermist: but I'm not an alcoholic! .....most of the time.
    Internet Friend: 0.0
    Me: ...guess who she gets her sense of humor from...
    Internet Friend: ...oh boy.

  • on the timing of the wedgie... -

    Glee Cast, on winning their Golden Globe: This is for everyone who ever got a wedgie in high school!
    Peppermist: I have never gotten a wedgie.
    Me: In high school - I'm nice and only do that to you at home.
    Peppermist: It has never happened!
    Me: oh you LIE! It's happened JUST THIS YEAR!
    Peppermist: Has not!
    Me: Just a couple months ago!
    Peppermist: That wasn't THIS YEAR, mom.
    Me: ...........
    Peppermist: BOOYAH, and she wins on a TECHNICALITY!

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No, I'm not a professional anything (except maybe a professional PITA, but the pay sucks!), but sometimes, parents of teenagers have questions, and sometimes? it's simply easier to ask some snarky woman on the internet, just to talk it out. I am that snarky woman. Ask away, folks, and I'll answer you on the blog. :)

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