Back in the day, ya know, when I was a teenager, struggling to walk too and from school in 29 foot high snowdrifts, uphill BOTH ways, barefoot with only a scrap of fabric for a coat and newspaper for socks, and mittens spun from the fluffy shed fur of the neighbors cat… and don’t forget being sick as a dog and possibly bleeding to death because hello, only ACTUAL UNCONSCIOUSNESS was good enough to let you stay home – back in the day we NEVER missed school! EVER.

(That sound you hear? My mother’s snort, coupled with rolling eyes, that I can practically see, since she drove me to and from school every single day until I got my own car and drove myself the whole 2 blocks to the high school.)

Since we live in Alaska, though, you know the roads HAVE to be bad if we shut down. After all, we’re not places like oh, Seattle, or other places that shut down when there’s like TWO INCHES of snow. In fact we SCOFF at your two inches, and wave about our snow-angles in multiple FEET of snow, as we brush off the cars, put them in 4 wheel drive, and go on about our days.

This morning, I got a text from my son, who I’d let stay with his friends last night, knowing they’d be driving into school this morning from beyond the bus routes. One of said friends’ mom is a bus driver, and the busses are running on a 2 hour delay this morning because of road conditions.

You see, after our Deep Freeze? We’re now sweltering in 36F degree weather! Things are suddenly MELTING! (Like the ice in the hoses to my washer – YAY LAUNDRY!) There’s the dulcet sounds of water dripping from the roof, and a thin sheet of ice coats the packed snow, and Mario Bros. sounds from the bedroom as the youngest awaits her fate. With a 2 hour bus delay, do I let her stay home, or make her go…

After the first text message from my son, I drug my weary behind out from bed to load up the local radio station online so I could hear for myself. Seems the buses may be running 2 hours behind, but the SCHOOLS THEMSELVES are starting ON TIME, for those children who’s parents take them in, or they walk, or drive themselves.

Interesting. So I passed this little nugget of information on to my son, and since his two possible rides were stuck out there with parents not letting them drive, he’s pretty much SOL – snow/ice day home for him! He made off lucky, and I made sure he knew that I “was not happy!” about it. Truth be told, I didn’t mind so much. With roads that bad, I’d rather the boys not risk it. But shhhh. Don’t tell him that!

Then the text alert on my daughters phone started going off. And off. And off. And off. The messages were flying fast and furious – who was delayed, who had to go to school, who’s parents were driving, who had convinced their parents to let them stay home… Before I knew it, I had Peppermist (the child previously known as ‘the girl’) out here with a wailing cry.. “but MOOOO-OOO-OOOM, I’d be all ALONE”

(That sound was MY snort, coupled with MY eyes rolling. Inorite? I am my mother’s daughter..)

You see, in the time it took for my daughter to get up, pee, and walk to the living room, she already knew that 5 of her 6 friends were staying home, and the last text message arrived confirming the 6th was as well the minute she sat on the couch. Yeah. THAT fast.

A couple calls were made – there were other kids I was supposed to pick up this morning as my dad was supposed to head out of town, though he didn’t go anywhere either because of the roads and was waiting for me to appear to steal his car so he could laugh at me. Gee thanks, dad! Finally, we Mom’s and Nana’s just collectively tossed up our hands. Screw it. The kids could stay home. All of them.

Once again the text messages FLEW, just before the snoring started up again.

All of this brought to mind something my Dad always said when we were young – the 3 fastest forms of communication are: Telephone, Telegraph, and Tell-a-Woman. After this morning, I think I can safely amend that to “Telephone, Telegraph, and Text-a-Teen.”