Archive for the ‘Drugs’ Category

On the previous posts, we talked a little about huffing. While that’s not detectable via any drug test, if you’re worried about other types of drug use, there is an at home testing system that you can use.

This of course, brings up the issues of teenagers and privacy again – but there is another side to it. If you’re child is feeling pressured to try things he’s not ready for, or shouldn’t do ever anyway, sometimes even if they HATE it, being able to say “No way, my mom TESTS me for that crap” is an easier way to say no. And I’m all for giving our kids every possible advantage.

If you’re interested in more details, check it out here!

You’ll notice that on here, I rarely use my kids real names, though I do use actual pictures now and again. At most an initial, a nickname, something that makes it a little more difficult to trace. I do this out of respect for my teenagers – and their privacy.

But that’s a tenuous thing – teenage privacy. Lindsay, over at Suburban Turmoil at the Nashville Scene broached the subject a couple days ago. When her girls mention a new member of their group, she dives into facebook profiles and makes sure they’re the type of kid her girls should hang out with. She even uses Google Earth, to find their home when there’s parties.

I’m sure Lindsay isn’t alone in this – many parents take advantage of their friends facebook and social networking skills to keep an eye on their kids. Lindsay limits her stalking to what’s publicly available on the ‘Net for the most part, as they are her step-daughters, but admits that with her own kids, all bets are off if she suspects something is wrong. I’m going to ignore the difference there – as I’d treat them all the same, myself, but that’s how it works for her family, so that’s good for them. However – how deep should a parent go when it comes to their teenagers privacy?

I know most teens want parents to butt out – and I know most parents won’t. And I don’t think they should. As I told my kids, all along – no matter where you are, imagine me RIGHT BEHIND YOU, watching. I have spies EVERYWHERE, and I WILL find out. They only pushed against it a couple times, then discovered that indeed, mom DID have friends everywhere, and even something so simple as walking across the highway to a different store was noted and reported back to mom. Can’t get away with NUTHIN in this small town, GOSH.

If you’ve taught your teens to be aware that you WILL be randomly checking in on them – chances are they won’t misbehave. Too much. Sure they’ll push, it’s what they DO. It’s our job to find a happy medium.

Would I search my kids rooms randomly for no reason? No. If I suspected there was something really wrong? Absolutely. Once, I was talking to my son in his room, and was leaning against the fridge, and randomly popped it open. His jaw DROPPED because he knew what I’d find in there – and INSTANTLY confessed that it was there, it wasn’t his, it was unopened, he was just holding it for someone. He was telling the truth – about it being unopened, at least, which lead me to believe the rest. I didn’t demand that he nark o his friend, whichever one it was that had put the bottle in there. I simply demanded it be removed, and it not happen again, and why. The bottle disappeared, the situation has never happened re-occurred, and they know I’m prone to randomly opening their fridge. Or cupboard. Or lifting a stack of books I happen to be standing next to at the time while we talk. I fidget – and I use it to my advantage.

I think the bottom line is this: if you suspect something is actively WRONG, then do some snooping. Otherwise, find a comfortable medium for you and your teens. Which means – and you know exactly what I’m going to say here, right? Here we go, let’s say it together, ok? 1. 2. 3.

TALK TO YOUR KIDS.

Sometimes, it’s really that simple.

[There are a wealth of things available to help keep track of your teens - we'll get to them tomorrow...]

It’s D.A.R.E time for our fifth graders, and the Pup is taking part. Of course, it’s mandatory, so she HAS to take a part, but I’m ok with that.

There are ups and downs to the program, of course, depending on your child.

Upside to all kids: education on drugs and the harm they cause.

Downside to many kids: Sudden superiority and ‘I know everything and will TELL you things that are bad for you ALL THE TIME’ syndrome that ends up with Mama/Auntie strangling 5th graders.

(No, I wouldn’t ACTUALLY strangle them! I’d have to put down my bong.)
(..totally kidding. They’re little still, I only need one hand.)
(..really, I’m kidding. It’s ok.)

DARE education covers all the basics, drugs, alcohol, cigarettes. But there’s one thing they don’t cover in much depth – and since DARE can be used as a springboard for you to (here it comes) TALK TO YOUR KIDS, be sure to bring it up: huffing.

Check out the Today Show’s investigative report on Huffing that aired yesterday:

It’s a growing problem with our tweens – completely legal, and also, deadly. We’ve always been open about drug talks here in the house – what we’ve done, what we haven’t, what we want for our kids, everything – and we talked about huffing too. It’s a growing trend – so please, TALK TO YOUR KIDS. Remember that YOU are their biggest champion, their biggest hero, even when they’re screaming they hate you, and slamming doors.

Talk to them.
Today.

So, remember back when I told you of the PTA live induction of their new leaders that would be held online? I didn’t make it myself, but the ever lovely Julie dropped us a note to thank those that did! And, if you – like me – didn’t make it to the live event, you can view it for the next three months by clicking here. Enjoy – and thanks Julie for letting us know!

In other news, Candice, who is lovely as well, dropped me a note on behalf of PATS (Parents Attitude Tracking Study) and the Partnership for a Drug-Free America. They recently conducted a survey to see how Dads are doing in helping their kids in the fight against Drug and Alcohol use. The data collected, reveals that dads tend to take a much more passive role than mom’s when it comes to those kinds of talks, which could mean their missing a valuable opportunity to hep teach their kids.

It seems that Father’s were 3x more likely to believe the teaching about drug and alcohol use and abuse should happen in school, and report having a greater difficulty reconciling the desire to have their child see them as a friend, rather than setting the rules – though the majority of parents believe a friendship with their kids is important too.

If you’re having problems talking to you kids about drugs/alcohol, then check out drugfree.org, and read through their helpful hints to get the conversation flowing. As with everyone else around here – my stand is exactly the same: TALK TO YOUR KIDS. You might find them a lot smarter than you think.

In that same line of TALKING TO YOU KIDS, Nana recently send me a copy of the newsletter she receives at work. My mom works with the local womens shelter, and also facilitates a batterers education group for those who have such classes mandated by the courts. Yeah, I know, she’s pretty freakin awesome, ain’t she? Anyway, the subject of this newsletter is respect.

When I’m out and about, something that drives me NUTS, is when a child is disrespectful, and the parent stands there and says “I don’t know WHERE s/he gets it!” and less then 2 seconds later, said parent is extremely disrespectful themselves. Respect is a LEARNED BEHAVIOR folks, and if they don’t see it at home, they sure as hell won’t practice it out in the world.

This leads into discussions about dating and violence. Parents say their kids aren’t getting the message, and I say it’s time for the parents to TALK MORE and get it out there. If you’re having problems getting those conversations started, giverespect.org has several tips for you, so that you can get your kids to realize what exactly a healthy relationship is. Be sure and check it out!

And hey – have a conversation with your Teen today, will ya? You’ve got no excuses now!

PS: Interested in things affecting your Teen’s health and well-being? Check out Ann Engelland’s blog and get some information straight from the doctor’s mouth, so to speak. hee.

The lovely Mimi dropped me a line the other day to let me know of a new project that she been working on with the Consumer HealthCare Product Association. They’re the member0based association that represents manufacturers of OTC medicines and wow that’s a hella mouthful for the first paragraph isn’t it? Ha!

Anyway, Mimi wrote to let me know about the Stop Medicine Abuse initiative that was launched a few months ago. While recent surveys say more parents are talking to their teens about risky behaviors, there’s still a long way to go to make sure EVERY parent is doing what I preach all the time – Talking to their Kids. Remember that teens who learn about drugs from their parents are about half as likely to abuse them!

To help that along, many OTC cough medicines will be featuring the image above on their packaging, hoping to be a key to remind parents that it’s not just the main hard core drugs that they need to be on the lookout for, but also simpler and easier to get things like cough meds. Those medicines are as easy as opening the cabinet at home, readily accessible and thus very easily abused.

Over at Stop Medicine Abuse website, they are taking action and hoping to help educate parents in the dangers, as well as helping them open up that important conversation with their teens. Take a few minutes to head over there and see the information they’ve collected – including the code words teens are using in reference to using these drugs. (Dex. Triple Cs. Tussin. Robofizzing. Etc.)

Our best defense as a parent is being informed, so that we can have those discussions with our kids. Check out the site today – and tell Mimi I sent ya.

PS: Click here for a report on a recent National Survey re: kids and Prescriptions! – Thanks Candice!

Continuing on the apparently theme today – the lovely Monica also contacted me a while back, and I found it buried in my inbox when I went on a cleaning spree today (Sorry Monica!). She wrote to share with me a new Q&A on the dangers of prescription drug abuse in teenagers from Karen Reed, who’s a spokesperson for the American Pharmacists Association. While the over the counter drugs are easily accessible too, it’s almost easier to hit the prescriptions in the medicine cabinet too, as most parents simply don’t think their kids would actually take them. Worse yet – kids tend to think that since these are given by the doctors, it’s a safe way to get high.

Scary, hm? As always – the number one way to make sure your teens are informed is to TALK TO THEM. The AntiDrug website can help you start those conversations.

According to the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration – every single day sees 2000 kids between the ages of 12 and 17 abusing a painkiller for the first time. Among 12 and 13 year olds, prescription drugs are the drug of choice. On the AntiDrug.com, they are currently highlighting prescription drugs, including an interactive house tour which highlights the locations where teens find OTC and prescription drugs, tips for parents on how to prevent the abuse and how to talk to you kids – and so much more.

The first step is to Educate yourself. The second step is to Talk To Your Kids. Parenting is not a job for a nervous nelly, and there are tons of resources available. USE THEM.

Click the ‘more’ tab below for the Q&A session with Karen Reed. Thanks for the info, Monica!

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Did you know that over half of all kids say they lied to their parents about what went on during Spring Break? If your shocked by this, then you don’t remember the allure of a week off school and parties galore. At least, that’s what I assume it’s like, as my kids just hung around the house and drove me nuts all week. Not that I’m complaining!

Last year, MomLogic conducted a poll of teens and found that while 70% of parents were anxious about spring break since the disappearance of Natalee Holloway, only $30% of teens were concerned enough to have it impact their decision. Other findings include:

* One in four teens say they or someone they know lost their virginity on spring break.
* Over half said they or a friend had sex with someone they met on the trip.
* One in three said they or a friend had sex without a condom. (This won’t come as a surprise to some Moms–a third of all parents polled admitted to thinking their kids would have unprotected sex.)
* Almost 60% of parents believe their kids were not honest with them about what went on during spring break–and, according to our survey, they’re right. Over half of all kids said they lied to their parents about what went on during spring break.

So with Spring Break in the bag, and only a few of us getting the real story, what can we do with Summer approaching and even longer time frames to worry about? It’s simple – TALK TO YOUR KIDS.

I know, I sound like a broken record, don’t I? TheAntiDrug.com offers five Spring Break Tips which will work all year round for any time frame when your teens is out and about.

1. Always ask your teens where they are going, who they’ll be with and what they’ll be doing.

2. Set rules for checking in (via text, phone call, etc.) at pre-determined times.

3. Work with other parents to get a list of everyone’s addresses, e-mails, and phone numbers so you can get in touch with your teens and their friends.

4. Safeguard all prescription and over-the-counter drugs at home, and put away all alcoholic beverages.

5. Talk to your teen regularly about the dangers of drugs and alcohol, and learn the facts. Go to TheAntiDrug.com for talking tips, conversation starters and all the facts about teens and risky behaviors.

Gee – Lookit there! Even the experts say to talk to your kids! While I’m not one to lock up the alcohol – when I actually have some around, which is rare – or the medications, the kids and I talk about such things regularly. Usually in jokes and mock threats – but that’s simply our way. I made a deal a long time ago with my son that if he stayed away from alcohol (drugs was an understood undercurrent) until he 21, that I would take him to Vegas for his birthday and be designated driver while he got absolutely sloshed on casino way. So far, so good. I’d better start saving!

Not every family has our sense of humor (Go on! Take a sip of my beer, boy! It’ll be cheaper for me in the long run! No really! TASTE IT! No? Damn. Vegas here we come…) but the fact remains that the best way to have your kids respect your boundaries is to talk to them and let them know what they are, why, and put the weight of responsibility on their shoulders too. When they understand why, and know that you have trusted them to make the right decisions, often times they will make those decisions the way you want them too.

Talk. to. your. kids.

Check after the cut for an Q&A with Stephen Wallace and TheAntiDrug.com. He says to TALK TO YOUR KIDS too.

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“And on the seventh day, God looked down upon the earth and said… ‘OH MY ME! I LEFT MY WEED EVERYWHERE!!!’ ”
(- credit for my favorite weed joke goes to some late night comedian seen on TV while I was pregnant with my son wishing I could have something ‘hard’ like.. nyquil..)

(That sound you heard after the quote was my mother’s groan, btw. And probably a threat to wallup me a good one… heh.)

So. Michael Phelps hits the bong, and self-righteous twits rise up from everywhere, and shake their fingers, and equate consider it a “gateway drug” that will lead to “steroid use”. Think I’m kidding? I’m not – just check out The View’s resident prude, Elizabeth Hasselback’s comments. Go ahead, I’ll wait.

Ok, so, while I once again wonder if Elisabeth Hasselback does anything but watch Fox News and worship Rush Limbaugh (…wait, doesn’t HE smoke weed or pop pills or some such? Yet he’s still a viable source for her…), Parents everywhere are covering their children’s eyes and tsktsking about the (possibly) greatest athlete of our time’s decent into depravity and drug addiction. After all, everyone who’s ever partaken of marijuana is now a raving addict craving heroin so badly they sell their crackhead kids just so they can overdose and die.

Extreme? You betcha. Don’t get me wrong here, I’m not saying that everyone should go out right now and hit the bong (Wait till 4:20, man! We’ll hit together!), but the reaction to Phelps’ pictures this weekend have bordered on the ridiculous. For me, I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say lay off the kid, for crissakes. He’s still a kid, and he isn’t perfect.

My stance probably can be blamed on a number of things. I’m from Alaska (Matanuska Thunderfuck, anyone?), I hung with the Stoner Crowd in high school, I’ve smoked weed myself…

(waits for mom to revive again)

…granted, I was 31 years old the first time, and TBF is a bad, horrible influence for which I love him dearly, but yes, partaking has occurred. It just doesn’t seem to be that big of a deal to me. Sure, some people get psychologically addicted – Marijuana, despite what people will insist on telling you, is NOT physically addictive – sure, some people are weak minded and decide they must have a bigger, badder high, etc. but to me, it’s just.. weed. Along with other vices (BAAAAAAAAACOOOOOON), done in moderation and with forethought, it’s just not that big of a deal.

I know, all the parents out there are screaming that I’m a horrible mom about now, but well, I don’t care. My point is this – if you have taught your kids well, to be safe, careful, and in control of themselves (as that is the ONLY thing they can control, anyway), then is it REALLY something to flip out over?

In the end, Phelps has issued an apology for his ‘mistake’ and promised it wouldn’t happen again. People are up in arms that this man who’s paid to be a role model to our kids has done something so devastatingly horrible – but the fact is, he’s a paid spokesperson, not a paid role model, though he’s still someone to look up too for his athletic prowess.

So how about this, parents – instead of preaching and yelling and self-righteous twithood, we teach our kids that people are HUMAN, and that NO ONE is perfect. Everyone does questionable things, and what matters is how we react to them. Placing athletes and celebrities on a pedestal is a waste of time and energy.

At the end of the day, they put their pants on one leg at a time, just like we do.

ETA: AMEN!

Today I am tired. So tired my snark isn’t in full working order, and my furrowed brow’d confusion is much more the facial fare. It’s nights like last night that give wrinkles – fortunately my fool proof wrinkle solution is till fill them up with fat – round and wrinkle free! Whooo!

Anyway.

Part of being mom to my kids and all their friends, is being available to them in an emergency. Last night I received a phone call from B. She was tentative, and hesitant, and I knew right away something was wrong. She made sure I had gas, before asking me quickly if I could take her and her roommate to the emergency room, because said roommate had swallowed the rest of her pain pills.

My heart stopped. I won’t lie – I broke some speed limits to get to them. I made it to their place in less then 5 minutes, and to the hospital from there in less then 10. And thus began my 7 hour stay in the Emergency Room with one of my daughters of the heart rather then blood, and her newly inducted-to-the-mama-worry-club friend.

As we waited, I gathered the rest of the story – or what we knew. She’d taken the rest of her pain pills, 21 of them, because “no one cared”. She had heard some things through the grapevine that originated with family and what they were saying behind her back. Fortunately, she decided to text two of her best friends – B included – to tell them what she’d done. She found out quickly that people DO care. B called me, I came to get them, and the text messages were flying as people checked on her, and tried to figure out what happened and why.

Then we had a surprise – a nurses aid walked in, and said she was C’s grandma. This is where the confusion began for me. She knew what had happened, she read the chart, she got our stories, she patted C’s hand, made vague accusations about C and her ex-roommate that were completely false, and then… she left.

She left.

I’m sorry, but that makes zero sense to me. C wasn’t even mine, and I was there, helping her get undressed into her gown, helping her answer questions to the nurses, the doctor, holding her hand as she cried when the Vampire Lady drew blood for toxicology. I brushed her hair back, I let her know I was there, I told her where I was going when they kicked us out so she could talk to psych, I checked on her often from the waiting room…

and her grandmother left.

Not only that – she called her father, which was something C didn’t want to happen as these family stories that set off this episode originated there. (C is 18, and the hospital didn’t call anyway by her request.)

Her dad arrived, asked at the check in desk if she was there, and the receptionist pointed him to me. As she is his daughter, I filled him in on what had happened, and what we knew at the time – her blood tests had come back normal, she could sleep this off without doing irreparable harm to her body, but we weren’t sure she’d be coming home until she was awake enough to talk to psych. He mumbled something, then paced a bit, then went out for a smoke, came back, and looked worried – and pissed. And bored.

When C was released, they gave me her paperwork. She hugged her dad, then faced him to give him a general why/what happened. Then she came back to me, so that I could take her and B come around 4am this morning. Once there, I made sure that she knew she could call me to talk anytime, that I cared, that I was there if she needed me.

I gave Dad and grandmother my number, in case they needed to find her and couldn’t, as I have access to their friends. But I didn’t expect the call I got this morning – grandma made arrangements in C’s behalf – without C’s knowledge – to move her out of state with family she hardly knows, in order to escape the problems she’s had here. I promised to pass the message along, but she’d woken me up and I wasn’t about jump to her bidding right then. I passed it on, yes, but not until I was awake, and I did not call her back with B’s number, leaving the choice of contact up to C.

I just don’t understand some parents. I don’t do the helicopter hovering thing, but I certainly don’t ignore them and their needs either. Every one of my kids knows that I will drop EVERYTHING to get to them if they need me, no matter the time of day, no matter the cost involved, no matter what else is going on. My kids need me, and I’ll be there.

If you’re not willing to do that for your kids, why the hell did you have them in the first place?

ETA – 9/1: Thank you guys for your comments. I wanted to let you know that she’s been in contact with me several times since that night. She texted me this morning, thanking me again for being there, and promising that she’ll remember I’m always here for her just as I am for all of my ‘kids’. She was going dress shopping with her cousin for her cousin’s homecoming -she sounded better, and is doing OK. Thank you for keeping her in your thoughts and prayers. We appreciate it!