Archive for the ‘Education’ Category

Now that Christmas is over, many of us are fearing opening our credit card bills as they come due this month – making smart money choices isn’t something many of us grew up with – or if we did, sometimes it’s simply hard to remember when it comes time for the holidays. And when your teenager asks for $10 bucks for this, for that, and it adds up… suddenly the thought of teaching them to make smart money choices might be a good idea!

And you’re not alone. Experts agree that starting early is a major key to later financial successes – and the National Foundation for Credit Counseling has recently announced their 2010 Poster contest to get kids involved and give them a head start toward a smart financial future.

The ever lovely Julie dropped me a note not long ago to make sure I knew about the contest, and now I’m passing that information on to you. This years theme is “$mart Money Choices = A Brighter Future” and in an effort to increase interest in financial literacy in our nation’s youth, they NFCC is sponsoring the Be Money Wi$e National Financial Literacy Poster Contest. Here are some of the details:

The contest is designed to get young students thinking about how to manage money efficiently and offers them a creative outlet to demonstrate their knowledge. It also provides the opportunity for local and national recognition for student artwork. All finalists will receive a commemorative t-shirt, and each national grade category winner will receive an award plaque and a $100 savings bond. In addition, the National Winner will be given an all-expense paid trip to Washington, D.C., with a parent or guardian and will be given official recognition in April as part of the Financial Literacy Month on Capitol Hill!

Who can enter? All school-aged children grades 3-12 are eligible, and there will be local and national winners chosen from three grade categories. The entries will be judged by expression of the theme, artistic style, creativity and need to be submitted through an NFCC Member Agency for judging. The deadlines are all in February 2010, so be sure to check out MoneyWisePOsterContest.org to get more detailed information, rules, entry forms, and find out where to submit!

So what are you waiting for? Get your kiddo creating and learning today!

You’ll notice that on here, I rarely use my kids real names, though I do use actual pictures now and again. At most an initial, a nickname, something that makes it a little more difficult to trace. I do this out of respect for my teenagers – and their privacy.

But that’s a tenuous thing – teenage privacy. Lindsay, over at Suburban Turmoil at the Nashville Scene broached the subject a couple days ago. When her girls mention a new member of their group, she dives into facebook profiles and makes sure they’re the type of kid her girls should hang out with. She even uses Google Earth, to find their home when there’s parties.

I’m sure Lindsay isn’t alone in this – many parents take advantage of their friends facebook and social networking skills to keep an eye on their kids. Lindsay limits her stalking to what’s publicly available on the ‘Net for the most part, as they are her step-daughters, but admits that with her own kids, all bets are off if she suspects something is wrong. I’m going to ignore the difference there – as I’d treat them all the same, myself, but that’s how it works for her family, so that’s good for them. However – how deep should a parent go when it comes to their teenagers privacy?

I know most teens want parents to butt out – and I know most parents won’t. And I don’t think they should. As I told my kids, all along – no matter where you are, imagine me RIGHT BEHIND YOU, watching. I have spies EVERYWHERE, and I WILL find out. They only pushed against it a couple times, then discovered that indeed, mom DID have friends everywhere, and even something so simple as walking across the highway to a different store was noted and reported back to mom. Can’t get away with NUTHIN in this small town, GOSH.

If you’ve taught your teens to be aware that you WILL be randomly checking in on them – chances are they won’t misbehave. Too much. Sure they’ll push, it’s what they DO. It’s our job to find a happy medium.

Would I search my kids rooms randomly for no reason? No. If I suspected there was something really wrong? Absolutely. Once, I was talking to my son in his room, and was leaning against the fridge, and randomly popped it open. His jaw DROPPED because he knew what I’d find in there – and INSTANTLY confessed that it was there, it wasn’t his, it was unopened, he was just holding it for someone. He was telling the truth – about it being unopened, at least, which lead me to believe the rest. I didn’t demand that he nark o his friend, whichever one it was that had put the bottle in there. I simply demanded it be removed, and it not happen again, and why. The bottle disappeared, the situation has never happened re-occurred, and they know I’m prone to randomly opening their fridge. Or cupboard. Or lifting a stack of books I happen to be standing next to at the time while we talk. I fidget – and I use it to my advantage.

I think the bottom line is this: if you suspect something is actively WRONG, then do some snooping. Otherwise, find a comfortable medium for you and your teens. Which means – and you know exactly what I’m going to say here, right? Here we go, let’s say it together, ok? 1. 2. 3.

TALK TO YOUR KIDS.

Sometimes, it’s really that simple.

[There are a wealth of things available to help keep track of your teens - we'll get to them tomorrow...]

It’s D.A.R.E time for our fifth graders, and the Pup is taking part. Of course, it’s mandatory, so she HAS to take a part, but I’m ok with that.

There are ups and downs to the program, of course, depending on your child.

Upside to all kids: education on drugs and the harm they cause.

Downside to many kids: Sudden superiority and ‘I know everything and will TELL you things that are bad for you ALL THE TIME’ syndrome that ends up with Mama/Auntie strangling 5th graders.

(No, I wouldn’t ACTUALLY strangle them! I’d have to put down my bong.)
(..totally kidding. They’re little still, I only need one hand.)
(..really, I’m kidding. It’s ok.)

DARE education covers all the basics, drugs, alcohol, cigarettes. But there’s one thing they don’t cover in much depth – and since DARE can be used as a springboard for you to (here it comes) TALK TO YOUR KIDS, be sure to bring it up: huffing.

Check out the Today Show’s investigative report on Huffing that aired yesterday:

It’s a growing problem with our tweens – completely legal, and also, deadly. We’ve always been open about drug talks here in the house – what we’ve done, what we haven’t, what we want for our kids, everything – and we talked about huffing too. It’s a growing trend – so please, TALK TO YOUR KIDS. Remember that YOU are their biggest champion, their biggest hero, even when they’re screaming they hate you, and slamming doors.

Talk to them.
Today.

Counting down, Letterman style…

5. Power Tools Make Boys Happy.
Now, I’m sure they make girls happy too, but well, we’re talking about The Boy here, and he has that gene that makes his eyes light up when he plugs in a power tool. That evil little gleam that he inherited from his father, that says “I can TAKE STUFF APART with this!” I always wondered why that gleam didn’t also say “I can FIX THINGS with this!” too.

4. I never worry about him NAPPING in shop class.
For the boy who prefers to sleep his way through high school, this is a plus. A love of Power Tools and Many Loud Noises means he’s not sleeping in at least ONE class this semester!

3. It’s useful stuff, they’re learning!
This isn’t algebra, where you are sure you’ll never use it again – never in the history of EVER, even. This is a class that teaches them how to fix things around the house. AKA: Make Mom Happy. In theory, anyway, as that doesn’t mean they ARE fixing stuff around the house. It just means they CAN fix things around the house. With their power tools. That they love. And use to dismantle entire rooms.

2. They teach them stuff about CARS too!
Like, more than “this is where the key goes, car goes vroom!” stuff! That’s the extent of my car knowledge, but the boy? He’s rewired The Beast’s wire harness, fixed headlights, tail lights, checked fluids, rebuilt full engines, done oil changes… this is all useful stuff for my son to know! Why? Because…

1. He VOLUNTEERED to take MY CAR to school today for an oil change!
That’s right. I bought the oil, the filter, and handed him the keys, and I get a free oil change from the boys at school. Even without all that other stuff? That would CERTAINLY be reason enough to have you’re kids take shop class, right? EXACTLY right!

… I wonder if I can get Peppermist to take shop class next year…

Think if I bribe her with the picture above – and promise her that’s what ALL the boys in shop class look like that – think that’ll work?

As I’m sure ya’ll have figured out by now – I’m very much a pro-express yourself kinda gal. I dig piercings, tattoos and body modification, and find the extremes weirdly fascinating. I dig people who know what they like, and have the inner strength to do as they please with their bodies as canvas, and even their dress code. I’ve always been a BIG supporter of allowing teenagers to express themselves through various means – hair color, mode of dress, etc. – with just one rule: Keep it tasteful, beware the slut factor, and for the love of all things holy, son, please pull up your pants so I don’t have to see your crack.

Not all parents/adults are as tolerant as I am, and that’s come to a head at the North Cobb High School in Georgia. Jonathan Escobar recently transferred after moving in with his sister. His preferred mode of dress includes skinny jeans, women’s flats, make-up, and wigs. He was told by school officials last week to either dress more “manly” or choose home schooling, citing the dress code rule with prohibits attire that is “disruptive to school activities.” It seems that the pink wig on day three is what was deemed too over-the-top, after a group of students surrounded Escobar in the lunchroom.

Now, I’m not against having a dress code at any school – my kids school has one, and I went through years of an extremely strict dress code (including uniforms!) at private schools. My kids aren’t to wear shirts with sayings that are deemed vulgar, there are no ‘belly shirts’ or sleeveless wear, etc. Other than that, the floor is pretty much open to dress as you please. We have everything from uber-fashionable, to goth to hippie to jock, you name it. It can all be found within those guidelines. I’m not sure how my town would react to someone with Escobar’s flair for fashion, though. Unfortunately, I’m pretty sure they’d fall in line with the Georgia School Board – and that bugs me.

You see, one of my BIGGEST pet peeves is double standards. I’m a BIG believer in what’s good for the goose is good for the gander. Don’t tell me it’s ok for a boy to do something, but not a girl, or vice versa because I WILL say something about it. Which leads me to this question: are they telling the girls to dress more “feminine” if they come to school in jeans and a football jersey? Or with combat boots and a men’s button down and tie? By the commenters on the article that have attended Cobb High, or know of it – they are not stopping goth attire, or any other mode of fashion expression which makes this a case of intolerance simply because a boy enjoys vintage female clothing and makeup.

He wasn’t wearing a skirt or a dress. For the three days he attended Cobb High School, he wore skinny jeans and vintage tops, a wig and flats. He wasn’t wearing high heels, a flamboyant wig that was 3 feet high, he wasn’t dressed to the nines as the ultra drag queen. He is a boy, in skinny jeans. His mode of dress is well in line with the clothing guidelines of the school -thus it’s REALLY only an issue because he’s a boy, and they don’t find him man enough.

Jonathan clearly understands that there will be bullying. He is willing to stand up to that, which shows an inner strength that few teenagers show. He’s willing to stand against the prejudices of others, to wear his skinny jeans. Why not use this as an occasion to teach tolerance and acceptance? Why not use this as a lesson in accepting your friends the way they are?

Some say it’s not their job to teach tolerance, it should be taught at home. I agree with you – however, you know it’s not being done in some circles. While it’s not your job to parent, it’s your job to TEACH, and when a situation presents itself, you are doing yourself a disservice if you let it slide by without addressing it.

Face it – in a week, the novelty would have worn off, no one would think twice about what the kid wears. Adults, as a general rule, don’t give teenagers much credit, and their often far more open and accepting than we think they will be. Why not give them the chance to prove it?

You’re going to hit me after reading this, and then reading the title again. It’s ok though, I understand. And you know me, so you’ll undertand that I could not resist. I COULD NOT. Of course, I also didn’t try too hard either, but, well.. that’s me!

So the general gist of the below video is this: Teacher of Senior English (that’s 12 grade, 17 and 18 year olds, keep that in mind) slips in an essay question that has parents, teachers and the school board in an uproar. The question?

If you pushed your brother down, would you urinate in his mouth?

(And now the title makes sense…)
(Waits for jaws to be picked up…)

Here’s the story:

Alright, so – here’s the thing. The interview didn’t say anything about the teacher or her reasoning behind the question as it didn’t have to do with the book they were reading, only that the teacher was trying to stimulate the students into thinking creatively – and of course that there are more appropriate ways to stimulate the creativeness of students.

Me, I’d really like to know what the teacher has to say about the question, especially since she has a track record of encouraging her students to think outside the box creatively.

Don’t get me wrong – I can see why folks are upset, but as Walter Croncrite always said – we need to know the rest of the story before we get all judgy and jump to conclusions. Of all the comments on this page – only ONE approaches it intellectually:

Do you really think that this question is some sort of ridiculous, tourettic yelp from the “living hellscape that is [this teacher's] mind?” It seems kind of obvious that this question has to be some sort of reference to an off-the-cuff remark a student made in class one day. That seems much more plausible to me than a teacher pulling a question like that out of nowhere. -J

Bravo, J, for thinking outside the box there! See, these are Seniors in high school – these aren’t elementary kids. These are students that can make up their own minds, yet still think farts are funny. (Because, you know, farts ARE funny – especially in the middle of the class when it’s not you, but the uber-prep cheerleader girl – preferably in the middle of her speech!) I’d be willing to bet at least one of the kids at some point has threatened about some poor schlub they felt wasn’t worth it, that they “wouldn’t pee on’em if they were on fire!”

My point is this: it had to come from somewhere, and I highly doubt it was just something random that the teacher threw in “From the hellscape of her mind” as the article writer states. The majority of her kids, it would seem, didn’t even blink – only one went to another teacher for help, and THAT teacher reported it. Now, should we be worried about the kids that didn’t blink? Or are then on to some inside classroom joke, that the other one missed? Doesn’t this teacher’s track record of having classrooms of excited and creative kids that know more than txt speak and LOLcat-isms mean more than one question that raises the brows?

There’s more to the story, but I doubt we’ll ever get to hear it. So chime in! What do you think of this, the question, the teacher, and what would you have done? Keep in mind that these aren’t kindergartners, these are seniors who have talked about bodily functions in great detail since they were like, four. And likely have siblings they’ve fartbombed and beat up and done things we as parents really wouldn’t care to know about, too. So setting your visions of MAH PRESHUSH INNOCENT BABIES aside – what do YOU think?

So, apparently, there’s this big habbabalou circling schools and the internets and all sorts of things right now, concerning a presidential address to the kids in school tomorrow. (Can you tell I don’t watch the news? Heh. I only know because it came through my feed reader and other mom’s are talking about it.) Tomorrow, I guess, is the traditional first day of school for most folks, though most everyone I know has already been in school for a couple weeks.

I think the best coverage I’ve seen on this subject is from Rachel Sklar, with Mediaite, and her article “President Obama Is Coming For Your Children!” Mostly, because she starts out with the same exact thing I said.. “Seriously, are people in this country CRAZY?”

Presidents have addressed our children before – Just say No, anyone? – and the only difference is that Media is used more often in the classroom today than it was in years past – giving easy access to it. Even so, it seems people are more upset about the message, the propaganda, the BRAINWASHING OF OUR CHILDREN by the leader of the Free World.

What is this message? Well – there has been no releasing of his speech, but if the president himself is to be believed in a recent interview with a school child, where he said:

“On September 8th…I will be making a big speech to young people across the country about the importance of education, the importance of staying in school, how we want to improve our education system and why it’s so important for the country.”

OH NOZ! The President is gonna tell our kids to GASP STAY IN SCHOOL and LEARN MOAR STUFF. SOMEONE STOP HIM!

Also, there’s a teacher’s guide being passed around that’s also subject to debate, because it (GASP) suggests that Teachers TALK TO THEIR STUDENTS about the Presidential speech. It suggests that they ask the students to ask themselves questions, like “What is the President trying to tell me, asking me to do, what challenging ideas is he asking me to think about.. is he asking things of my parents, teachers, American Citizens?”

Oh no. Critical thinking at such an early age. IT’S THE END OF THE WORLD AS WE KNOW IT! (…and I feel fiiiiiiiiiiiiine…)

The teachers guide goes on to ask the students to share their ideas and thoughts about the speech. So what are many schools doing? (Not mine, though I live in a predominantly Republican state – in fact, they didn’t even do this mass panic LETTER TO THE PARENTS thing either. I don’t even know if they’re showing the speech, here. No matter.) They’re sending out mass messages, warning the parents, giving them the option to skip school, attend school with their child to view the speech, etc. While folks online are comparing this to Hitler’s Youth groups.

It’s all a bit ridiculous, don’t you think? Our president, not the first by a long shot, is going to encourage our kids to stay in school and work hard. Teachers are going to encourage the children to think on their own, and figure out what the message means to them individually. President Obama is not going to brain wash our children with a single speech – and even if he did, that’s not his fault, but YOURS for not doing a better job parenting your children and teaching them critical thought, but making them mindless sheep and followers.

…what, too harsh? My quick little speech there doesn’t make you instantly think that you’re a bad parent raising sheep and followers? It didn’t make you bundle up your kids and take them to school to force feed them a presidential speech? It didn’t make you THINK about anything you haven’t already thought of?

Yeah. This “propaganda” thing is a little harder than it looks, huh?

Seriously, folks. If you’re doing your job as parents, and brainwashing your spawn with your own ideals properly on your own before they get to school, this isn’t going to change their thoughts on anything at all. It’s a speech. And given Obama’s flair for speeches, it’ll be a good one. Relax, and enjoy it.

PS – While I was posting this, they actually released the speech – you can read it here. Here’s an excerpt:

Whatever you resolve to do, I want you to commit to it. I want you to really work at it.

I know that sometimes, you get the sense from TV that you can be rich and successful without any hard work — that your ticket to success is through rapping or basketball or being a reality TV star, when chances are, you’re not going to be any of those things.

But the truth is, being successful is hard. You won’t love every subject you study. You won’t click with every teacher. Not every homework assignment will seem completely relevant to your life right this minute. And you won’t necessarily succeed at everything the first time you try.

That’s OK. Some of the most successful people in the world are the ones who’ve had the most failures. JK Rowling’s first Harry Potter book was rejected twelve times before it was finally published. Michael Jordan was cut from his high school basketball team, and he lost hundreds of games and missed thousands of shots during his career. But he once said, “I have failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”

These people succeeded because they understand that you can’t let your failures define you – you have to let them teach you. You have to let them show you what to do differently next time. If you get in trouble, that doesn’t mean you’re a troublemaker, it means you need to try harder to behave. If you get a bad grade, that doesn’t mean you’re stupid, it just means you need to spend more time studying.

No one’s born being good at things, you become good at things through hard work. You’re not a varsity athlete the first time you play a new sport. You don’t hit every note the first time you sing a song. You’ve got to practice. It’s the same with your schoolwork. You might have to do a math problem a few times before you get it right, or read something a few times before you understand it, or do a few drafts of a paper before it’s good enough to hand in.

Don’t be afraid to ask questions. Don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it.

I do that every day. Asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness, it’s a sign of strength. It shows you have the courage to admit when you don’t know something, and to learn something new. So find an adult you trust – a parent, grandparent or teacher; a coach or counselor – and ask them to help you stay on track to meet your goals.

And even when you’re struggling, even when you’re discouraged, and you feel like other people have given up on you – don’t ever give up on yourself. Because when you give up on yourself, you give up on your country.

The story of America isn’t about people who quit when things got tough. It’s about people who kept going, who tried harder, who loved their country too much to do anything less than their best.

Yeah. Break out the picket signs, ya’ll – they’re gonna brain wash your kids into learning more and working hard. GASP.

My girls are all about projects: drawing and creating and writing and coloring and painting and everything in between. I have boxes and boxes and piles and walls FILLED with their masterpieces, each one special and unique and showing another part of my daughters’ creative spirit – something I love to encourage.

The ever-lovely Marissa contacted me recently with a new site to check out – The Creative Park for Creative Minds site, sponsored by Cannon. It’s fun, free, and has a TON of craft projects for you’re little budding artists to try. They have ideas and templates for any lesson plan (for those teachers among us!) and helpful tips too! There’s 3D Paper Crafts, scrapbooks, calendars and even some tips for your digital photography! There are interactive projects that help teach kids about geography, history, social studies, science and more! Who doesn’t want to teach our kids something when they don’t even realize they’re being taught? Sneaky teaching is fun!

To help take those projects to the next level, check out the Learning to Create site, and then pop over to the Cannon Creative Park for even more ideas and projects for the whole family!

With the kids all starting school, at all ages, we’re once again having to trust we’ve taught them what they need to know in order to protect themselves while they’re away from our (often over-)protective grasp. As with everything, I encourage one rule, first and foremost and that is for the parents: TALK TO YOUR KIDS. While some subjects are sensitive, and assault is certainly one of them, it’s a very important conversation to have, and have more than once.

RAINN – the Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network – has posted some guidelines to help protect our children from Sexual Assault, and how to talk to our kids about them. We’re surrounded by messages about it through the media, but there’s not a lot of advice about how to talk to our kids. They’ve set up guidelines that are simple and clear, and worth a read. The most important thing, of course, is that no matter how uncomfortable these conversations can be, the important thing is that they happen.

The three Keys that RAINN stress are these:
— Talk to your children about sexuality and sexual abuse in age-appropriate terms.
— Be involved in your child’s life.
— Be available.

We need to empower our kids to say “No” and make sure they feel comfortable coming to us, as parents and trusted adults, if something happens, or they suspect something might. Also, you’ve heard me rant on victim blaming before (if not, stay tuned, I probably will again) – so make sure while you’re talking to your kids, that they know that it’s not the way they are dressed, the way that they talk, or even the way that they walk that attracts the attention of an abuser – the abuser is in wrong, period. Teaching modesty is good. Blaming attacks on a short skirt or tight shirt? Is not.

But in the end – no matter how you go about it, what you choose to say, the most important thing is that these talks happen, so that our kids have every weapon at their disposal for protecting themselves when we’re not around.

PS: Check out RAINN’s back to school tips too! It’s aimed at our college students, but works for our High School teens as well. College aged women are the highest risk for being sexually assaulted. Being aware is often the first step in staying safe!

Since my husband died, one of the hardest things to do has been to watch my son grow up without his father. Wednesday marked the end of our fourth year since his death, and while we keep moving on, keep plugging away day to day, his loss is something still very fresh and raw – for my son, perhaps, more than his sisters. He’d never say it, but it shows in little ways – the way he’s determined to help pay his own way, the care he takes of me and his sisters (though he’d never admit the latter, he is STILL their big brother!), the insistence that he take on more responsibility on his own with each little step aimed at lessening my stress level just a touch.

Most of this, I think he does without thinking about it, as that’s simply how he is. He’s always been the friend others lean on, the one who’d give you the shirt off his back multiple times if you need it – but if you fuck him over… well. you’re dead to him. heh. He gets that from his daddy too.

There are things that he’s done, though, that were aimed expressly at becoming more independent. First, he got a job in the cafeteria, so that his lunches were free – all on his own. Truth be told, that thought hadn’t even occurred to me. Secondly, he took over monitoring his own grades in an act of defiant responsibility – also known as MOM QUIT NAGGING!

Our school system using an online source where parents and students can keep track of assignments and grades and contact the teachers easily. Last year, The Boy took a stand, and asked that I just TRUST him, and let him take care of it – to believe him when he says he’s passing, and that he’s caught up on the credits he needs, that he was in line for graduation.

It was hard for me to let go of that control, of that ability to peek and nag. I checked in with him often, doing what I always preach up in here – TALKING TO MY KID – but I did not go into his account and double check. I trusted he was telling me the truth about his grades. When I received his report card, I discovered that he was, indeed, taking care of things on his own. It was frightening and exhilarating all at once. This growing up stuff, is HARD. (…for ME.) Hard enough that I admit, while setting up the parent accounts for this year – I peeked JUST TO MAKE SURE that he had the credits needed, though I was pretty sure he did, since he qualified for Work Release. (basically a half day of school.) But I figure I was due ONE peek, after a whole YEAR of being good.. right? Right? (Just nod your head. Thanks. )

This year, he took this whole responsibility thing a bit further. In one of the Senior courses, the new requirement is that you have to clock a certain amount of community service hours. Uh, my kid is not a community service kinda kid. He gets that from me – I’m not a joiner, in any form. While he’ll do something on his own – if it’s REQUIRED and OFFICIAL, he gets a little irritated. So he found another way, helped out by his best friend’s girlfriend who did the same.

After asking my permission, my son skipped school yesterday and went to the HomeSchool office, ordered this course as a home study course, got all of the information on where and how to take the test to get the credit, PAID FOR IT HIMSELF, cleared it with his school councilor, rearranged his schedule to take a different required course that he would have taken next semester – thus increasing his load THIS semester. All I had to do was sign the paper.

While part of me is proud of the initiative he took, and how he completed it all on his own, I have to admit there’s a small part of me that cried. Just a tiny part of my heart wonders just where my little boy went. You know, the one who needed me for everything, the one who depending on me to make things right for him, including nagging about school and helping him rearrange priorities when it was necessary. Not that I’ll stop nagging – but still. What happened to THAT kid?

While I’ll always miss those little arms wrapped around my neck, cradled in the safety of mama’s arms… I have to admit that this growing up thing is kinda cool. Bottom line – I’m proud of the man he’s becoming. And the almost-grown-up-Senior-in-high-school-taking-care-of-business hugs are pretty nice too.