Archive for the ‘Family’ Category

It was a BIG WEEKEND here at Casa de Lessa, folks, dominated by the PreTeen and her cousins and the Big Swim Meet in Soldotna. Oh yes, there was kids to wake up early, early, the buglet to be dropped off here with Peppermist, the others to get to the pool, dressed in swim gear and on deck by 9am for warm-ups for the meet to start at 10:15.

That’s stupid early for a Saturday, ya’ll.

But there we were, our collective four kids on deck, on time, with our spot in the bleachers staked out, programs and highlighters and cameras and sharpies in hand – the later gets a real workout, see the picture to the left, ready for five hours of cheering on The Pup, Ladybug, Bug, Dman and all their teammates. (Why yes, I am the crazy cheering mom. Why do you ask?)

It was an especially nervewracking day for the pup, as she had decided to swim a brand new event: The 100yd Individual medly. She knows all the strokes, of course, but there’s the ORDER to remember, and TWO HAND WALL TOUCHES, and DON’T DQ and OMG MOM I’M SO NERVOUS! Peppermist, loving big sister that she is, told the pup an “easy” way to remember the stroke order: just remember that you can BUTTER the BACK of your BREASTs, FREEly. This, naturally, spread through the team like wildfire, and MUCH laughter resulted – including laughter DURING THE BACKSTROKE LEG by the pup AS SHE SWAM.

INORITE?

All our kids had a VERY successful meet, though. Not only did the Pup swim that IM, but it got her her very first DUCKY! The winner of each heat gets a little rubber ducky as a prize, and the pup has been sure she’d NEVER win one – and then she did! VERY happy Pup – in fact, they handed it to her, she looked up to find us in the stands and held that ducky high in the air as we all cheered VERY LOUDLY for her. She could have fallen off the blocks in every race thereafter and not cared. She had a Ducky. A PRINCESS ducky, even, with a PURPLE crown.

She didn’t fall off the blocks though – in fact, she pulled out a 3rd place heat finish and a 2nd place heat finish as well, and improved on all of her times. The Ladybug swam her first 50yd Freestyle (She’s a wee bit of a thing, and usually swims 25s) AND she also won a ducky for herself! All Bug’s hard work paid off and he got to swim the Freestyle relay with the BIG BOYS – including his teammate who recently got the chance to swim with Michael Phelps. There is no SMALL amount of hero worship going on THERE, I’ll tell ya!

And then, Dman, my 13 year old nephew, he tells me “I’m never gonna win a ducky, you know.” I, of course, reminded him that the Pup felt the very same way and today was her day. His day was coming. NOT TEN MINUTES LATER – GUESS WHAT HE DID? That’s right, Dman came away from the pool with his very first Ducky too!

And in between it all, there was Dman and his Girlfriend, who also happens to be the Coach’s daughter. There’s nothing quite as fun as teasing two thirteen year olds as they follow each other around the pool. There were a lot of “Remember! 6inchs of light between you!” and nudges and winks, and chuckling. And then? We spotted them waaaaaaaaaaay across the pool, sitting in folding chairs under the yellow sign, waiting for Dman’s next event. I looked at Mama, and Nana, because I saw them first.

Me: That’s NOT 6 inches…
Mama: oooooooh HELL NAW.
Nana: BUSTED!

So we yelled the girls name across the pool, to get her attention – we knew Dman would just ignore us, and she’d answer – and followed it by “THAT’S NOT 6 INCHES!” complete with gestures demonstrating the proper distance between them, and were rewarded by them jumping apart, BRIGHT RED BLUSHING, and looks that could kill.

God, I love teenagers!

Needless to say, we spent the weekend pretty well pumped. The Boy even showered the Pup with affection and attention, and took her out to breakfast Sunday morning to celebrate. If you’d like to see the Pup – here’s her video of all her events. Note that she beat that girl for her ducky by a FULL POOL LENGTH. Yeaaaaaaaaaah, baby! Way to do it in STYLE, baby girl!

So how was YOUR weekend?

TGIF – because if it weren’t for it being Friday I’d be all ready to give up!

You see, my darling baby boy (Yeah, the one that’s a foot taller than me – what’s your point?) came home the other day flinging things and searching under and growling and muttering under his breath. It seems that when he was at the local superstore, he changed in the bathroom out of his work clothes – and apparently left his wallet sitting on the sink.

…

He realizes this a full 24 hours later, chaos ensues, and lo and behold -no wallet. So, we hit the bank right away to cancel his bank card, and then checked the lost and found and with the desk, and no one had turned it in. He had receipts and stuff in there that were pretty important, but mostly it was his bank card and his license. Which meant he couldn’t drive out to his buddies house that night, because with HIS luck, he’d get stopped. Not good. Unhappy boy.

So I calmed him down, and today, we head to the DMV when he got home from school. He woke me up (I tend to sleep in the mornings after they go to school – specially after being unable to sleep the night before, actually getting UP and starting a pot o’beans n ham at 5:30 am!) – and then nagged and rushed until I headed out the door to the DMV – his favorite place in the whole world.

Not.

I fill out the paperwork, and settle in to wait. It was less than 10 minutes, so I was like SCORE – we’re gonna get out of here fast! And then she asked for an alternative ID for my son and I realize… it’s still sitting on my desk.

Oy.
Supermom FAIL.

So I call Auntie, she says she’ll grab it and bring it to us, but she had to finish what she was doing, and then she picked up Peppermist and the dog, and then the dog got out, and then she finally got to the DMV and the dog got out AGAIN and we had to chase him down, and then! Finally! an hour after we started to do something simple…

Success! Replacement License procured!

Only for me to have to tell him he can’t have the car overnight because his little sister has a Swim Meet tomorrow and I need the car. Some days, I just can’t win.

At least we still have ham’n'beans still a slow cookin – and it smells FANTASTIC. Redemption approaches…

I hope everyone is sufficiently recovered from their New Years Eve festivities in time for this, the first Monday of a brand new year to rear it’s ugly head! Before we move forward this year, I thought I’d finish off the fun we had here at Christmas time and beyond – because I know you’ve been asking yourself “What else has Lessa been up too?!” Right? Right!

So, I mentioned the awesome gift Peppermist got me – she knows I’m obsessed with pacman, original arcade style, yo! – and she got me a blue ghostie! That walks! Which is about 15 shades of AWESOME, ya know? So I was playing with it (…shush you…) while listening to my Glee Soundtrack (..if you ain’t listening and lovin’ Glee, I’m not sure we can be friends!) on my shiny new iPod Touch that the boy is still in trouble for and the Thong Song came on. And since my Ghostie was already holding my headphones…

And well. Who am I to resist the siren call of such an opportunity?! Observe…

INORITE?! So. Very. Awesome.

And as proof that I have THE BEST Teens on the planet, including the ones I kinda adopted – The Twins decided to spoil me/us too, and got me an old fashioned popcorn maker! It’s a little mini version of the BIG ones at the Theater, ya know? And it makes DELISH fluffy popcorn, which we can salt and butter to our liking, and we’ve gone through a metric ton of the stuff after stealing Nana and Papa’s popcorn kernals – cuz we didn’t have any of our own. Heh. (Yes, Nana! The Popcorn Fairy will arrive with more soon, all fresh popped and delish!) It’s a BIG hit, and we’ve eaten the Pup’s Weight in the stuff since it was delivered. Thanks girls!

What else – OH YES. For Christmas, Peppermist, who wants to be the Alaskan Ace Of Cakes, received an awesome basket of cake decorating goodies and cake mixes from Nana to practice with! Thus, a couple nights ago, Peppermist armed herself with Auntie’s icing recipe, and took over the kitchen for her very first cake decorating experience.

There were mutterings, there were ponderings, there was the decision to simply use pink because she likes it so THERE mama. She was determined to learn to make an icing rose – and when she bounded around the corner happily to show off a perfect rose, I couldn’t help but applaud. I asked her if it was on the first try – and she said yes…around a mouthful of pink icing. Hahahah!

The cake turned out pretty damn well, especially for her first time. I look forward to sampling many other creations over the years to come. Nana’s already put in her order for her upcoming birthday, even.

Watch out, Duff! The Alaskan Ace Of Cakes is on her way!

I’m the type of mom – like so many of us parents are – who wants my kids to have everything, or at least some of the things they want desperately. First, of course, comes what they need, then what they want, but especially at Christmas? What hey want is also important. It’s hard when we can’t afford those types of things, and I find myself doing things I wouldn’t normally do in order to ensure that some of those things find their way under the tree. I accept help from the school, and as soon as I can I plan to pay that forward, and return the favor. And I also take advantage of the fact that my kids are old enough now to have some Big Topic Talks.

Which was how, a few weeks ago, I was able to put a plan into motion. It went kinda like this:

Me: So, Santa’s broke, still. And I was thinking…
Peppermist: Did it hurt?
Pup: Thought I smelt something burnin…
Me: …brats. I was thinking that WE(Wii) might ask Santa for one family gift that WE(Wii) might enjoy together, that WE(Wii) might like instead of individual gifts.

It took them a couple minutes, but finally it broke through and the cheers went up “WE(Wii) WOULD LOVE THAT.”

The boy, of course, said he didn’t care. He was more about things for his truck, and tools, than anything else. So while I put things for that into motion behind the scenes, I worked to get the Wii the girls wanted so desperately. The boy was then THRILLED to discover extra cash in his account for the truck. Mission accomplished.

The other request was one of those stupid fuckin’ Zhu Zhu pets. Those things, with all the accessories that the pup wanted with it, too, are way to expensive. Instead, then, while she was hiding out at Aunties, the teens and I got her a REAL hamster, cage, ball and book about the care and keeping of the little bugger. She was THRILLED – well, first, she was confused because we gave her everything in the box the cage came in, THEN brought out the hamster from where he’d been hiding in Peppermist’s room – THEN she as THRILLED. And shocked. And NutterButter has a doting human to shower him with affection – and I still came out ahead cash-wise. Heh.

The smiles on my kids – and my niece and nephews – faces is more than enough of a gift for me. That’s all I want, is for them to feel special everyday – but at Christmas especially. But the Boy… that darn boy… He decided it wasn’t going to be enough for HIM this Christmas. He wanted me to feel special, to have something I wanted, but would never get for myself, or let him get for me had I known he planned too. It was too much – and I was completely shocked…

Yup – that’s an iPod Touch (cradled next to my many chins), and my son? Is in SO MUCH TROUBLE… as soon as I get over the awesomeness of my new toy…

… yeah, he’s pretty safe. And has been excused from gift giving to mom for like, the next 2-5 years of birthdays, mother’s days and Christmases. hehe.

So here’s hoping that you and yours were able to get some of the things you needed, some of the things you wanted, and more importantly, were able to see though the squeals and squabbles and mounds of shredded wrapping paper to discover just how special your family is as they crowded around you. Especially if they were nice enough to give you ONE DAY to take as many pictures as you wanted, without making faces, hiding, or worse.

Even if it makes you see JUST HOW TALL your lil tiny baby is next to you and Nana… Sigh.

Merry Christmas, PTB readers. Bring on the New Year!

For all of you parents whose kids – like mine – are pleading that hey get a gaming system finally omg mom EVERYONE ELSE HAS A Wii for Christmas LAST year – This is for you.

Rockin’ it old school Nintendo style + A Capella show choir = WIN.

Yeah.

FINISH HIM!
(still giggling)

…not Sandra Dee…

We’ve had a bit of disappointment on the Grease stage. It seems that, although every other school trip is planned over Spring Break, the Band trip that Peppermist is going on, is in FEBRUARY. The week before Grease hits the stage. Unfortunately, this conflict was too big of one to overcome, and Peppermist had to drop out of the chorus.

I’m bummed.
Peppermist is completely ok with this, however.

She was still feeling pretty lonely without her friends there to enjoy the experience with her. Friends that are scared to come into my house right now because they read the previous post about my being Not. Happy about them ditching Peppermist at the auditions. Hahah! They came bearing cookies yesterday to bribe their way back into my good graces. Smart girls…

So, while we’re disappointed, Peppermist is clearly looking at the bright side of things. “This means I get to WATCH it! Which is TOTALLY what I’d rather do than just be in the CHORUS.” So, when she returns from her Band Trip, all flush with excitement and new experiences, she and I have a date to watch the play – and sing along from the audience.

And that’s just fine for the both of us.
(And it makes it safe for her friends to come around again. Bonus! )

Could someone message the little ice-pick wielding dudes currently stabbing me in the lower back and tell them to knock it off? I appreciate it! I meant to let you all know some things yesterday, but then ice-pick wielding dudes, and I sooooooooorta lost focus! Haha! But I’m soldiering through today, for I know you can’t live without my special brand of snarkitude, right? Right!

No snarking necessary here though – because it’s all about Congrats!

1. Peppermist got a part in Grease! While she was certain that everyone who auditioned got a part in the Chorus like she did, I know for a fact that they did NOT, which means she beat out quite a few in order to snag her spot! And the Chorus for this show is HUGE, with MANY songs, and a LOT of stage time!

Her friends all bailed on her – which makes me wanna wap ‘em in the head – and as a result Peppermist is a little nervous with each rehersal, but she can’t deny that she comes home with a smile. They’ve worked with her one scheduling conflict (tap dance on tuesdays) and are genuinely thrilled to have her.

And it gets conversations like this:

Me: How was practice?
Peppermist: Awkward! We learned the rest of the choreography for “We Go Together” – which is partner work! I was standing there sorta like “Hm, Ihave no partner, I’ll just stand here, embarrassed” and then there was a guy next to me who was sorta like “Hm, I have no partner, I’ll just stand here, embarrassed” and lo, we became partners.
Me: OH OH OH! WAS HE CUTE?
Peppermist: OMG MOM.
Me: WAS HE?
Peppermist: I guess.
Me: What’s his name?
Peppermist: I don’t know! What, you expected us to TALK?!
Me:…no. of course not, child. That’d be INSANITY right there…

So she’s, ya know, making friends and influencing people, just as she should.

2. The always lovely Deana dropped me a note this morning to let me know who won the GE Strong as Steel Sweepstakes! Congrats go to Katie H. from Fort Worth, TX (who’s chosen a fridge!) who won through Bargain Hunting Moms! We’re so happy for you both – and only a TEENY TINY LITTLE BIT TOTALLY OMG JEALOUS.

3. Watch this space, cuz guess what? it’s SWIM TEAM TIME! First meet on Saturday in Seward, which means Nana, the pup and I, along with Auntie and her kiddos will be carpooling up that direction WAY early on Saturday morning. So if you hear many cheers wafting your way from up north? It’s the crazy lady with the camera, screamin like crazy for all my Swim Team kiddos.

And now I’m gonna go curl up against my hot water bottle and listen to GLEE sountrack for a while. Have a great day, ya’ll!

Nana got herself a ‘good parenting’ pin recently, which is awesome, cuz she done pretty damn good with me, if I do say so myself – and she shared with me what it said on the back. There’s some good stuff here – though they missed one. I’ll tack it on at the end. And comment, of course, because you know I have an opinion!

Here we go:

* Use effective discipline, not as punishment, but so your child learns self-discipline.

The key word here is USE. Don’t be afraid to discipline your child! Don’t make ME have to do it for you in the middle of a supermarket. Don’t make ME have to teach your kids right from wrong. Don’t rely on the school – or ME – to teach your kids core values that they should have learned years ago. You spread your legs and had a kid. Step up and do your JOB.

(this is not directed at any of the kids I have at my house regularly. They’re awesome! )

* Teach friendship and conflict resolution skills

Remember when you were young, and you and your best friend would fight over something stupid and it was the END OF THE WORLD and your mom would tell you to talk it out? And you hated to do it because somehow that would mean you were wrong, but then it ended up that your friend wanted to talk it out too, and you both were BFFs again by the end of the day? Yeah. Teach that.

* Be a good role model to teach character and values

Tolerance, understanding, compassion, forgiveness, acceptance, love. By example, folks. It’s the only way.

* Let your child learn from mistakes and disappointment

Man. The parents that refuse to allow their kids to fail? DRIVE ME UP A WALL. How the hell do you expect them to function in the real world if they haven’t learned to learn from their mistakes and disappointments? Protecting them is one thing – hobbling them is another thing entirely.

* Follow a daily routine for consistency and structure

I did this much better when they were young. Now, well, everyone’s routines are on different schedules. Sometimes you just do the best you can, and make sure that you’re connecting along the way.

* Tell and show your child that you love and accept them

AMENAMENAMENAMEN. You’re child’s one true champion is you, their parent. They need to know that no matter what, you will love and accept them. This INCLUDES if they are homosexual, they end up pregnant, they make mistakes, etc. You are their one rock. Make sur they know that you will not turn your back on them.

* Be a coach, not a critic, to instill a positive inner voice

You are their support team, you are their coach, you are the one they expect guidance from. Don’t destroy that by constantly telling them what they are doing wrong. Instead, help nurture that inner voice by telling them what they’ve done right, and how they can do things better.

* Teach your child emotion management skills and tools

I have a child that hits doors. I have a child that throws pillows. I have a child that screams into her stuffed animals. I have a child that cries at the drop of the hat – and turns it off when you call her on it. I have a child that used to slam doors – until he lost that door and his privacy for a while. I have a child that stomps. I have a child that glares.

I have three VERY NORMAL CHILDREN when it comes to dealing with emotions. They learn from example – and I have done all of those (cept the crying. That drives me batshit at any age.). They don’t do all of those anymore, or even some of them – but it’s our job to teach our children how to handle emotional overload – by example.

I’m Irish. Sometimes you need to scream. Doing so into your stuffed animal’s belly is MUCH better release then doing it unintended at someone you love.

* Show interest in your child’s education and activities

Every little league game. Every basketball game. Every concert – choir AND band. Every swim meet. Every twirl girl performance I can get too. Every kindergarten parent lunch with crappy food and loads of other people’s kids. EVERY little thing I can attend for my kids, I’m there. Once, at a band concert, one of my daughter’s friends told me “I’m so glad you’re here, mom. My parents NEVER come to ANYTHING.” and it broke my heart. It doesn’t matter if your ears BLEED afterwards – be there for your kids. THATS what they want.

BE THERE. My parent’s were there for me, and are there for my kids too. BE THERE. There is nothing more important than making sure you’re kids know they are important enough to you for you to BE THERE.

* Keep family traditions to create positive memories

This goes hand in hand with the one above – it’s about positive reinforcement, ya’ll. DOOOOO EEEEEEEEET.

And the one they forgot – you know what I’m gonna say, right? Ready? Here we go:

TALK TO YOUR KIDS!

You’ll be amazed at what you’ll learn.

You’ll notice that on here, I rarely use my kids real names, though I do use actual pictures now and again. At most an initial, a nickname, something that makes it a little more difficult to trace. I do this out of respect for my teenagers – and their privacy.

But that’s a tenuous thing – teenage privacy. Lindsay, over at Suburban Turmoil at the Nashville Scene broached the subject a couple days ago. When her girls mention a new member of their group, she dives into facebook profiles and makes sure they’re the type of kid her girls should hang out with. She even uses Google Earth, to find their home when there’s parties.

I’m sure Lindsay isn’t alone in this – many parents take advantage of their friends facebook and social networking skills to keep an eye on their kids. Lindsay limits her stalking to what’s publicly available on the ‘Net for the most part, as they are her step-daughters, but admits that with her own kids, all bets are off if she suspects something is wrong. I’m going to ignore the difference there – as I’d treat them all the same, myself, but that’s how it works for her family, so that’s good for them. However – how deep should a parent go when it comes to their teenagers privacy?

I know most teens want parents to butt out – and I know most parents won’t. And I don’t think they should. As I told my kids, all along – no matter where you are, imagine me RIGHT BEHIND YOU, watching. I have spies EVERYWHERE, and I WILL find out. They only pushed against it a couple times, then discovered that indeed, mom DID have friends everywhere, and even something so simple as walking across the highway to a different store was noted and reported back to mom. Can’t get away with NUTHIN in this small town, GOSH.

If you’ve taught your teens to be aware that you WILL be randomly checking in on them – chances are they won’t misbehave. Too much. Sure they’ll push, it’s what they DO. It’s our job to find a happy medium.

Would I search my kids rooms randomly for no reason? No. If I suspected there was something really wrong? Absolutely. Once, I was talking to my son in his room, and was leaning against the fridge, and randomly popped it open. His jaw DROPPED because he knew what I’d find in there – and INSTANTLY confessed that it was there, it wasn’t his, it was unopened, he was just holding it for someone. He was telling the truth – about it being unopened, at least, which lead me to believe the rest. I didn’t demand that he nark o his friend, whichever one it was that had put the bottle in there. I simply demanded it be removed, and it not happen again, and why. The bottle disappeared, the situation has never happened re-occurred, and they know I’m prone to randomly opening their fridge. Or cupboard. Or lifting a stack of books I happen to be standing next to at the time while we talk. I fidget – and I use it to my advantage.

I think the bottom line is this: if you suspect something is actively WRONG, then do some snooping. Otherwise, find a comfortable medium for you and your teens. Which means – and you know exactly what I’m going to say here, right? Here we go, let’s say it together, ok? 1. 2. 3.

TALK TO YOUR KIDS.

Sometimes, it’s really that simple.

[There are a wealth of things available to help keep track of your teens - we'll get to them tomorrow...]

And no, this time I don’t mean “Holidays”! No, this time it’s all about the Pre-Teen Pup, and her swimming. For the next six months she will be in the pool, thinking about the pool, talking about the pool, dreaming about the pool, and working her hardest to shave time off her her best race each and every time she gets in the pool and competes. It’ll be all backstroke this, and breaststroke that and freestyle splash n dash and omg the butterfly my poor shoulders, block starts, flip turns and streamline, streamline, streamline! It’ll be new suits, team suits, goggles that fall off in the middle of races, adjustments, cheers and even some tears. It’ll be fights with coach and adoration of coach and promises of ice cream for all DQs. (In our family, a DQ – disqualification, gets DQ – Dairy Queen!) It’ll be sauna like temperatures in the pool, videos and pictures, tired swimmers and exhausted mommies.

In short? It’ll be a blast!
(…mostly… ha!)

I’ve been doing this Swimmer Support role since my sister was on the High School swim team. I was down on deck, counting down the endless laps for the 500 freestyle for her, delivering her inhaler, and wearing a shirt that declared me “J’s sister!” next to my mom who wore a shirt that said “J’s mom!” while she ran around in a shirt over her suit that said “I’m J!”

Her heart was broken when my older two showed zero interest in swimming other than for fun. Then came the Pup, who dove in last year with Auntie and all the cousins and hasn’t looked back – much to my sister’s delight. It just wasn’t quite right without my being in the stands, apparently!

Last year The Pup wanted to beat her cousin in just ONE THING – though he had a year’s previous experience and as a male tends to just be stronger and faster. In the end, though, she prevailed. She got an “Honor Time” certificate for her backstroke – which is a 4th place team finish. Her cousin got several good times and medals, but they were in his SECOND year, not his first like the Pups, so that satisfied that goal.

This year, her goals are all about times. She has an AMAZING breaststroke, which is something that just sort of clicked for her toward the end of last season, and her backstroke is still very strong. Freestyle is strong, her butterfly is coming along, and we’re all about beating last years times for personal best. She also has her eyes on the times of the High School Champ of my Sister’s generation – who FINALLY saw one of her records come down just this year! She knows she won’t be able to hit those until High School, but she’s DETERMINED to be ready to destroy the record board by then.

I believe she can do it.

But most importantly – SHE believes she can do it, and I’ll sit in the uncomfortable bleachers, sweating like a pig in the humid 12930182 heat for the next 6 months and all the years following, and cheer myself hoarse for hours on end to help her get there. After all, lookit that face – could YOU resist?

Yeah, no.
Me either.

GO PIRANHAS!