Archive for the ‘Pre-Teens’ Category

Now that Christmas is over, many of us are fearing opening our credit card bills as they come due this month – making smart money choices isn’t something many of us grew up with – or if we did, sometimes it’s simply hard to remember when it comes time for the holidays. And when your teenager asks for $10 bucks for this, for that, and it adds up… suddenly the thought of teaching them to make smart money choices might be a good idea!

And you’re not alone. Experts agree that starting early is a major key to later financial successes – and the National Foundation for Credit Counseling has recently announced their 2010 Poster contest to get kids involved and give them a head start toward a smart financial future.

The ever lovely Julie dropped me a note not long ago to make sure I knew about the contest, and now I’m passing that information on to you. This years theme is “$mart Money Choices = A Brighter Future” and in an effort to increase interest in financial literacy in our nation’s youth, they NFCC is sponsoring the Be Money Wi$e National Financial Literacy Poster Contest. Here are some of the details:

The contest is designed to get young students thinking about how to manage money efficiently and offers them a creative outlet to demonstrate their knowledge. It also provides the opportunity for local and national recognition for student artwork. All finalists will receive a commemorative t-shirt, and each national grade category winner will receive an award plaque and a $100 savings bond. In addition, the National Winner will be given an all-expense paid trip to Washington, D.C., with a parent or guardian and will be given official recognition in April as part of the Financial Literacy Month on Capitol Hill!

Who can enter? All school-aged children grades 3-12 are eligible, and there will be local and national winners chosen from three grade categories. The entries will be judged by expression of the theme, artistic style, creativity and need to be submitted through an NFCC Member Agency for judging. The deadlines are all in February 2010, so be sure to check out MoneyWisePOsterContest.org to get more detailed information, rules, entry forms, and find out where to submit!

So what are you waiting for? Get your kiddo creating and learning today!

Wow. Today’s the last day of school before vacation for my rugrats, and others around the country are being let out tomorrow – and you know what that means… only a few days left to shop, and also? The kids will be HOME for TWO WEEKS.

I give it less than 24 hours before I hear the first “I’m bored!” But that’s Ok, because I’ve a WHOLE LIST of “Honeydos” for when they’re silly enough to say such things. You know, “honey, do this… honey, do that…” – it works for more than just husbands!

One thing I’ve noticed about the kids as they enter pre-teen and teen years, is that while the presents get smaller, they’re more expensive! But here’s one for your (and my!) girls who are ages 8-14!

It’s called the “New Moon Girls“, and there is an online community and a bi-monthly print magazine, too. The chats are moderated, and there’s a staff member online at all times to ensure the safety of the girls. It’s an ad-free space that’s by girls for girls, where they can share their thoughts, opinions, poetry and artwork in an environment meant to help boost their self-esteem, positive body image and confidence.

You can get a 30 day free trial, and then it’s just $29.95 for a full years access, which includes the bi-monthly magazine too. (You can see the current magazine here.)

You know me, I’m all for safe and positive places for our girls, where they can express themselves and be the strong amazing people we know them to be! So check it out today!

Oh what a long weekend! While the little stabby dudes of doom are still stabbitying my lower back, it didn’t stop me from doing the Proud Mama thing all weekend long. Because that’s simply how I roll… (…I’m such a gangsta, yo!)

Saturday was the first swim meet of the season for the Pup, The Candy Cane Splash, which meant hopping into Nana’s car at the bright and early and happy hour of 5am – after having slept about 2 hours myself – and heading north to Seward. Papa offered us some cash if we “needed it” and we decided we “needed breakfast and coffee” so that worked out well too.

We got to the pool right at 8am, where the kids all hopped into the pool for warmups to get ready for the day. And what a successful day it was! All of our kids did well – the Pup, and my niece and two of my nephews (the third stayed at home to play with Peppermist and the puppies), and The Pup is EXTREMELY proud that along with destroying some of her times from last year, she also never once came in last in any of her heats! For a girl who struggled last year to get the strokes down, not DQ, and simply finish a little better than she had the time before, this was a HUGE moral boost for our waterbaby! Even the coach commented that she was a LOT stronger this year, and all her work during the off season paid off for her big time.

So for those who’d like to share a little bit of the day – here’s my Pup in all her swimming glory, in 5 events. I have videos of all our kids, of course, and you can click through to see how AMAZING they are too if you like!

Just ignore the crazy lady shouting encouragements in the background. I have NO idea who she is – someone really aughta gag her…

We arrived back into town in the early evening, and all the kids collapsed for some sleep. And by “all the kids” I totally mean me, as I pretended to watch a movie with the Pup and instead got yelled at for snoring. WHATEVER.

The fun wasn’t over yet though, as yesterday was the Annual December Band Concert for the high school and junior high bands. Peppermist has been in band since the 5th grade, so we’re getting quite used to all of these concerts, and measuring just how much improvement the kids have from concert to concert, year to year.

Yesterday’s concert was amazing – with only a few bobbles here and there, and some really good solos as well – which made it an enjoyable way to spend the afternoon.

One of the best parts about it though is the Charlie Brown Tree in front. APPARENTLY Charlie Brown is “cool” again, and I simply didn’t know it.

Peppermist: Charlie Brown is AWESOME. Charlie Brown is ALWAYS cool.
Me: … you kids gotta TELL me these things!
Peppermist: pfft. Some things you just know. Gawd, Mom.

So that was my weekend – How was YOURS?!

And no, this time I don’t mean “Holidays”! No, this time it’s all about the Pre-Teen Pup, and her swimming. For the next six months she will be in the pool, thinking about the pool, talking about the pool, dreaming about the pool, and working her hardest to shave time off her her best race each and every time she gets in the pool and competes. It’ll be all backstroke this, and breaststroke that and freestyle splash n dash and omg the butterfly my poor shoulders, block starts, flip turns and streamline, streamline, streamline! It’ll be new suits, team suits, goggles that fall off in the middle of races, adjustments, cheers and even some tears. It’ll be fights with coach and adoration of coach and promises of ice cream for all DQs. (In our family, a DQ – disqualification, gets DQ – Dairy Queen!) It’ll be sauna like temperatures in the pool, videos and pictures, tired swimmers and exhausted mommies.

In short? It’ll be a blast!
(…mostly… ha!)

I’ve been doing this Swimmer Support role since my sister was on the High School swim team. I was down on deck, counting down the endless laps for the 500 freestyle for her, delivering her inhaler, and wearing a shirt that declared me “J’s sister!” next to my mom who wore a shirt that said “J’s mom!” while she ran around in a shirt over her suit that said “I’m J!”

Her heart was broken when my older two showed zero interest in swimming other than for fun. Then came the Pup, who dove in last year with Auntie and all the cousins and hasn’t looked back – much to my sister’s delight. It just wasn’t quite right without my being in the stands, apparently!

Last year The Pup wanted to beat her cousin in just ONE THING – though he had a year’s previous experience and as a male tends to just be stronger and faster. In the end, though, she prevailed. She got an “Honor Time” certificate for her backstroke – which is a 4th place team finish. Her cousin got several good times and medals, but they were in his SECOND year, not his first like the Pups, so that satisfied that goal.

This year, her goals are all about times. She has an AMAZING breaststroke, which is something that just sort of clicked for her toward the end of last season, and her backstroke is still very strong. Freestyle is strong, her butterfly is coming along, and we’re all about beating last years times for personal best. She also has her eyes on the times of the High School Champ of my Sister’s generation – who FINALLY saw one of her records come down just this year! She knows she won’t be able to hit those until High School, but she’s DETERMINED to be ready to destroy the record board by then.

I believe she can do it.

But most importantly – SHE believes she can do it, and I’ll sit in the uncomfortable bleachers, sweating like a pig in the humid 12930182 heat for the next 6 months and all the years following, and cheer myself hoarse for hours on end to help her get there. After all, lookit that face – could YOU resist?

Yeah, no.
Me either.

GO PIRANHAS!

I had my first crush when I was five. His name was Jimmy H. and he lived in the house behind us. He was two years older, wiser, and so very handsome – it was destiny that we marry and have many babies that had his dark good looks. We were BFFs and practically inseparable – watching Batman on TV, than acting it out. I of course, was either Batgirl or Catwoman depending, on the episode that day.

I had my first kiss in first grade. While Jimmy H. was still my BFF, there was another boy who lived down the street from me named Doug. He wore a leather jacket, rode a brand new Huffy bike, and was always getting into trouble. He was a Bad Boy, and I was head over heels in love. We played freeze tag. He choose to unfreeze me by kissing my cheek. I was a goner, and thus began my infatuation with bad boys.

I had my first ‘boyfriend’ in 4th or 5th grade. Another Jimmy, Jimmy K. I remember walking the halls all through our recesses at the local Christian School, talking about anything and everything. I still have the necklace his mom made for him to give to me for Christmas that year – it still makes me smile. I cried when he moved away.

My first actual boyfriend came into my life at a sports retreat just before my 15th birthday. His name – unsurprisingly at this point – was Jimmy. Jimmy M. I had my first real kiss that same weekend, and we dated for 2 years. I went on to have other boyfriends, of course, but that’s how it all started.

But there’s some things missing in there, too. I had my first girl crush when I was 10. Her name was Laura, and I didn’t really think about it, because we’d been total BFFs for some time, and it seemed natural and right to want to grow up and share a house and be together forever. I didn’t delve any deeper to see if it meant more than BFF, because I didn’t care. I just knew we’d be together forever. I cried when she moved away.

After that, there was a steady stream of female friends, and looking back now, I can pinpoint the exact time I realized that my girl crushes likely meant I was bisexual. It wasn’t anyone I knew personally, but instead it was Suzanne from the Bangles and one key moment of the Walk Like An Egyptian video. There’s a close up of her eyes, and she looks from side to side on beat, and I’ve never forgotten that image ever. I wanted to stare at her, into those eyes, forever. It was 1986, I was 16 years old, and I never told a soul.

It’s not surprising that I’d choose to keep such a discovery under wraps, considering my background in Christian schools, attending church three times a week, and living in such a conservative town. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever come right out and told my mom that I dig girls, too, (…hi mom! *L*) Though I think she’s figured it out over the years.

So why bring it up now? I ran into an article from the NYTimes today, that discusses kids coming out – as early as Middle School, to their peers, their parents, their classes, their whole school. While there is still a LONG way to go, these students and their families are putting it all on the line to help put a stop to gay-bashing by simply being themselves, and being unafraid to do so. As the article points out, and using my own experience, no one thought twice to ask me if I was SURE I liked Jimmy K in grade school, or if it was just a phase. No one pushed me to identify my feelings, and make sure I liked him, because that is the acceptable norm. So why do we do that to our gay/lesbian/bisexual students of the same age group?

Middle School is a time where kids are discovering their identity, in all ways, including their sexuality. Whether they choose to come out or not at that age, it’s unsurprising that many can pinpoint their first discoveries of sexual orientation at that time, or even a bit earlier. Schools across the country are forming Gay Straight Alliance clubs, where they can meet together – no matter the orientation, and support each other. They understand what should be obvious – you don’t have to have sexual interaction in order to identify your attraction, and expecting our kids to identify strictly as straight because it’s easier isn’t fair to them, or us.

But in some areas, it’s getting better, and that’s where we need to keep our focus. It’s not automatically assumed that being gay leads to a life of loneliness and heartbreak any longer. Schools that would never allow their students to say “That’s so black!” are finally cracking down on the students that say “that’s so gay!” as well. We’re taking steps toward acceptance, and I find that encouraging! We’ve a long way to go, but movement in the right direction should be applauded.

So if your pre-teen/teenager has the balls to come to you and tell you they’re gay/lesbian/bisexual – don’t ask them if it’s a phase, don’t ask them if they’re sure, or how they could possibly know if they’re not sexually active (because that’s just silly, people!). Accept them with open arms, realize that they are STILL your kid, they’re still the amazing individual you’ve been raising all these years. Support them. It will go a LONG way to ensuring their happiness, which is what we ultimately want for our kids anyway, right?

Right! Make me proud, ya’ll!

…hold me.

She’s bouncing off the walls of course.
Pup: LOOK! Here’s how to put it together. Grab this, put it here.
Me: wow. Detailed. How long did that take you to learn?
Pup: twenty minutes! (she’s kidding, of course)

Pup: Wanna know how to mouth it?
Me: You already know how to be mouthy.
Pup: MOM! It’s easy. You make a fart noise. The boys caught on REAL fast.
Me: of course they did.
Pup: LISTEN!
Me: WHAT? I CANT HEAR ANYMORE ON ACCOUNT OF THE LOUD TRUMPET NOISE!

…is this what they meant by the coming of the Apocalypse being heralded by a trumpet?

Pup: I GOT SPIT ON MY LEG! GROSS.

Pup: When I went over to play for Grandpa? He covered the end of my Trumpet! He was playing with me but (fake cries) it made me so SAD (giggles)

Me: don’t they have silencers or something?
PUP: MOOOOOOOOOOOM. Hey! Mom! Don’t you dare put that on Parenting Teens! OMG you ARE putting it on the INTERNETS! I’ll be FAMOUS! I mean..HEY! I’m not a Teen!

Me: This is in case I don’t let you live long enough to OFFICIALLY count as a teen. For instance, if you blow that thing in my ear one more time…

…help me.

One of my favorite shirts – and my kids favorite too – depicts a bird and a bee whispering, with the caption above their head saying “We do WHAT?!” It never fails to make my kids giggle, and I get a lot of snickering looks from folks when I parade it around town.

Because, you know, I’m really 12. Or something.

Anyway – I’m sure you’ve noticed that pretty little button there over to the side, the one about My First Period Kit – which you can now buy through that link right there. We featured the kit before, and while it gave Peppermist and myself a snarky giggling fit like you wouldn’t believe, I’m pretty sure I’m gonna get one for the Pup and possibly my Niece too. Now I’ve never been shy about laying it all out there for my kids – but Dr. de Freitas helps those who are a little less open than us, talking in a frank and open way that makes it easy to open those discussions with your girls.

And boys – especially with her new guide for parents – The Birds and the Bees with Ease. In fact, HealthyChats.com is offering a free 40-page Ebook to parents! Dr Chrystal de Freitas based the book on her mother-daughter seminars. She (and I!) feel that by the time those hormones kick in for puberty, the kids should already have the basics down, but a lot of moms at her seminars have never quite brought it up.

Here’s the official Blurb!

“The Birds and the Bees with Ease!” covers which details are appropriate to relate to a child at what age, starting at 5 years old, moving up to ages 6 through 9. The information is also useful for parents who have not yet discussed these topics with children at the cusp of puberty. “When we start the conversation at the appropriate age of 5 or 6, we can leave out all the details of dangers and pleasures associated with sex,” explains Dr. de Freitas. “This is not too early because if we parents don’t initiate this conversation, others – like the kid next door or the media – will do it for us. As our children grow, we can continue to add on more information before they get to their health education class at school. Explaining to children how their amazing bodies work empowers them and keeps them safe. This knowledge is all part of the journey to healthy, responsible adulthood.”

The e-book’s clear-cut chapters tackle topics including: Where Do Babies Come From? and How Do they Get Out?; How are Babies Made?; Sexual Curiosity; Modesty; Touching/Exploring; Foul Language; HIV and AIDS; Puberty; and other vital discussion areas to enable parents to easily have healthy chats with their children.

So head over to Healthy Chats’ The Birds and the Bees with Ease page and download your copy of the Free E-book, today! Don’t forget to check out the other features of the site too – such as Dr. de Freitas’ blog, Q and As for Moms and Pre-Teen girls, and other information for parents and kids alike!

And, like I preach continuously around here – TALK TO YOUR KIDS!
…and provide condoms. Just in case.

As most of you know (but if you don’t, consider this the HI GUYS GUESS WHAT portion of the entry), I live in Alaska, and have for most of my life. One of the benefits of living here is the scenery – we’re surrounded by mountains, and hills and forests and trees and all the wildlife that entails – including (but not limited too) an annual parade of Mama and Baby moose that live in our neighborhood. One year one even birthed her calves in my sister’s back yard!

I only lived elsewhere for the first 8 years of my life, and the only really vivid memory I have of that city was the HUGE climbing tree in my front yard. Coincidentally, that’s also what I miss… a good climbing tree. These up here are… spindly. But fortunately, that’s not all there is to be explored around here!

I always love it when Deana emails me. She always has the good stuff! Recently, while we were moving to our new pages here, she sent me an email letting me know about the new PSA campaign from the US Forest Service and introduced “Where the other you lives”. It’s aim is simple – help you help your kids to reconnect with nature, disconnect the Game Systems for a while, and having some good, old fashioned, outdoor adventures!

While the campaign is aimed at our tweens, primarily, that doesn’t make it any less viable for your teenagers. If nothing else, they need to scope out their next wild and parentless party and/or lover’s lane location!

….what?

Here’s the thing. U.S. children spend 50% less time outdoors than 20 years ago, and research shows that children who play outside play more creatively, have lower stress levels, more active imaginations, are fitter and leaner, with stronger immune systems, a greater respect for themselves, others and the environment. An overwhelming amount of tweens even WANT to be out there hiking the trails and kicking rocks!

So what are YOU waiting for? Check out DiscoverTheForest.org for places to go and things to do. Find your way back to Nature today!

PS – speaking of the ever lovely Deana giving us the good stuff? Stay tuned! We’ve something AWESOME cooked up just for you! Be sure to check back in the upcoming days!!!

Ten.
Double Digits.
“Pre-Teen”
OMFG mah baby is HOW OLD?
She’s TEN.

I’m not quite sure how I let such a travesty happen. Ten years ago today, my ’surprise’ baby was born, long and lean even then, loud and proud and her very own person from the very start. Not a mini-me, despite her blue eyes, reddish-blond hair, but a mini-daddy in attitude and… well, everything else. While The Boy and Peppermist are like my little clones – much to their dismay when I catch them in things they didn’t realize I’d already thought of and tried 20 years ago – The Pup? She’s been different from day one.

She was all legs and arms, with a butt so tiny she had to wear preemie diapers for a month. She did not take to the breast, and after 4 weeks of trying, I gave up and put her on the bottle – which she took to like a champ, plumping up a little and getting bigger and stronger by the day. She actually crawled first, while her older siblings insisted on skipping that to go straight to walking. She refused to grow her top middle teeth first, getting the outer set a full month before those came in, making her my little fanged howler.

Oh yes. She didn’t cry – she HOWLED. Like a wolf. It was the most precious(ly annoying) thing EVER.

Despite the fact that her siblings potty trained early, she would NOT be trained until SHE was ready – leading me to finally in desperation tell her that the entire state of Alaska was out of diapers, so dammit, put on those Dora panties like a big girl! She never had an accident after that.

Once she learned to talk, she never stopped – it’s 24-7, even in her sleep. She is a constant bundle of energy, unable to sit still even when reading, or doing some other quiet activity. Until she stops moving for more than 30 seconds, then she falls fast asleep for 8 solid (not exactly quiet) hours at night, or a quick hour long cat nap, during the day.

She’s a smartass (gee, SHOCKER there huh?), she’s strong, she’s STILL long and lean, and she’s got a competitive streak that makes her daddy’s pale in comparison. She is determined, and has a strength of spirit that amazes me, even when it’s driving me completely insane. She smiles and sings and bounces and manipulates the hell outa poor folks who can’t see through her champion teary-eyed single tear down the cheek pity face. She makes friends easily, but holds grudges forever, she is the first to help out a smaller child, or even an older one, if they need her, and she’s never met a stranger – just friends she doesn’t know yet.

She’s amazing.
She’s my pup – and today?
She’s ten.

We’re still working on the fashion sense.

Oh – and to answer the title question? This morning, when I woke her up:
Me: Good MOOOOOORNING! Do you know what DAY IT IS?
Her: *grumblesnarlgroan*
Me: That’s RIGHT! Get UP!
Her: if you LOVED me, you’d let me SLEEP on my BIRTHDAY
Me: Oh well. GET UPPPPPPPPPP!
Her: *grumblesnarlgroangrowlcompain*

It’s official. She fits in here just fine.

I have discovered the SURE FIRE WAY to make sure my kids do not get sick at all – have the lovely Deana send me a sample of Triaminic Thin Strips for us to test while we talk about when it’s ok to skip school, and when they need to get their behinds back in class without worrying their contaminating everyone they’re in touch with.

But I am a patient mom! The pup, my lovely pre-teen/tween, finally succumbed to a cough and cold! SCORE! Now if only I could find that little box…

Just kidding. I knew where it was. Anyway – As I mentioned, Deana contacted me to let me know that the National Association of School Nurses have partnered up with Triminic to help create a set of Sick Day Guidelines to help parents make the right call when their kiddos are sick. Keep them home, send them to school… it often seems to be decided by a single point on the thermometer. Then it’s off to the store to be confronted by all the OTC (over-the-counter) cough and cold remedies, to see if you can squash it at home before headed to the doctors. There have been some recent changes to the labels and guidelines of these products- so please read the labels carefully! Many of the OTC brands are now not recommended for children under the age of 4.

Triaminic Thin Strips are most awesome because the dose is already measured for you, just pop 1 or 2 (depending on age and size of your kiddo) into their mouths and let it dissolve. The pup, who normally makes faces at all such medicine type things, declared that it tasted like sugar and that made her happy.

The Sick Day Guidelines offer more helpful tips for handling sick days, and give guidelines on when to keep your kid home – guidelines that are helpful for our teenagers too. After all, deciding on if it’s a cold, flu or “got-a-test-itis” is a necessary parenting skill – even if we should have it all figured out by this age, some teenagers (BOY! I’m looking at YOU!) are masters at pity ploys!

So check out the guidelines today!