I hope everyone is sufficiently recovered from their New Years Eve festivities in time for this, the first Monday of a brand new year to rear it’s ugly head! Before we move forward this year, I thought I’d finish off the fun we had here at Christmas time and beyond – because I know you’ve been asking yourself “What else has Lessa been up too?!” Right? Right!

So, I mentioned the awesome gift Peppermist got me – she knows I’m obsessed with pacman, original arcade style, yo! – and she got me a blue ghostie! That walks! Which is about 15 shades of AWESOME, ya know? So I was playing with it (…shush you…) while listening to my Glee Soundtrack (..if you ain’t listening and lovin’ Glee, I’m not sure we can be friends!) on my shiny new iPod Touch that the boy is still in trouble for and the Thong Song came on. And since my Ghostie was already holding my headphones…

And well. Who am I to resist the siren call of such an opportunity?! Observe…

INORITE?! So. Very. Awesome.

And as proof that I have THE BEST Teens on the planet, including the ones I kinda adopted – The Twins decided to spoil me/us too, and got me an old fashioned popcorn maker! It’s a little mini version of the BIG ones at the Theater, ya know? And it makes DELISH fluffy popcorn, which we can salt and butter to our liking, and we’ve gone through a metric ton of the stuff after stealing Nana and Papa’s popcorn kernals – cuz we didn’t have any of our own. Heh. (Yes, Nana! The Popcorn Fairy will arrive with more soon, all fresh popped and delish!) It’s a BIG hit, and we’ve eaten the Pup’s Weight in the stuff since it was delivered. Thanks girls!

What else – OH YES. For Christmas, Peppermist, who wants to be the Alaskan Ace Of Cakes, received an awesome basket of cake decorating goodies and cake mixes from Nana to practice with! Thus, a couple nights ago, Peppermist armed herself with Auntie’s icing recipe, and took over the kitchen for her very first cake decorating experience.

There were mutterings, there were ponderings, there was the decision to simply use pink because she likes it so THERE mama. She was determined to learn to make an icing rose – and when she bounded around the corner happily to show off a perfect rose, I couldn’t help but applaud. I asked her if it was on the first try – and she said yes…around a mouthful of pink icing. Hahahah!

The cake turned out pretty damn well, especially for her first time. I look forward to sampling many other creations over the years to come. Nana’s already put in her order for her upcoming birthday, even.

Watch out, Duff! The Alaskan Ace Of Cakes is on her way!

Yesterday, a friend of mine twittered that she’d come across a question from a 14 year old who wants to have sex – and wondered what to say to her. Knowing my answer was going to be way more than 140 characters, I asked if I could broach the subject here, instead. Randi graciously agreed.

Now, a couple disclaimers – the question was asked anonymously on an advice site, so there’s some differences as to how I’d answer, vs talking to one of my own teenagers, but the gist of it remains the same. Also – you know me, my greatest sermon is to TALK TO YOUR KIDS, not to push abstinence. That said – what would I say to this 14 year old?

First, after praising them for taking the time to think through the decision, and ask advice because that shows signs of maturity – I’d ask the all important question: Why?

Why do they feel the need to have sex right now? Is it because all their friends say they’re doing it/have done it/will do it soon? Is it because they have a boyfriend/girlfriend? Is it because they WANT a boyfriend girlfriend? Do they feel said boyfriend/girlfriend will leave them if they don’t? Have they thought about the consequences, are they ready for an emotional bond, is this just a whim, or because they feel it’s something they need to do – and why do they have that need?

The important thing here, though I know you’ll want to pepper questions at them rapid-fire, just the way I typed them, is to let them talk to you, let them tell you the answers, and don’t judge them/fight against the answers when they come. You want your teens to be honest with you, which means you have to accept the answers they give. If they fear that their boyfriend/girlfriend will leave them, that relationship is doomed anyway. They won’t want to hear that – so make sure, make SURE they know you are not judging them. Sex is not a way to get/keep any relationship, and that’s an important point to get across to our teens.

We may not always remember – but we all had the same urges at the same age. It suddenly seemed like EVERYONE was having/talking about sex, the hormones were going wild, and that guy/girl in science class smelled REALLY good. Our bodies were suddenly in overdrive, and our mind didn’t quite keep up. Rational thought suddenly seemed the myth, and that feel good moment was within reach…

But as we learned, and as our teens will have to learn too, that feel good moment is just that – a moment. An important one, and one that they need to think about ahead of time and make sure they’re ready for the responsibility that comes with sex. That means open and frank talks about STDs, Pregnancy, Protection, and even date rape and violence.

If you come across this question anonymously, avoid the pitfalls of judging, and be open to let them ask more questions. Be honest in your replies, and ask the hard questions – they want to be responsible enough to have sex, then they need to be responsible enough to really examine why they want too. If they can’t? They’re not ready. Be open, be honest, be non-judgmental. Chances are if they are asking this anonymously, they fear their parents judging and reaction – so encourage them to be responsible, and to talk to their parents, too.

If your teen comes to you – congrats! You’ve done something RIGHT, so don’t blow it now. Relax, keep the lines of communication open, and answer their questions, and ask some of your own. Listen to the answers, don’t judge them even if everything in your being wants too. They know you’re there for them, so be there.

Then, in both cases, counsel them to get to a clinic stat for birth control options and further education. Immediately. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200. Go straight to condoms, aisle 5.

(Unless of course, you think you’ll need $200 worth of condoms, in which case MY AREN’T WE OPTIMISTIC!)

I’m the type of mom – like so many of us parents are – who wants my kids to have everything, or at least some of the things they want desperately. First, of course, comes what they need, then what they want, but especially at Christmas? What hey want is also important. It’s hard when we can’t afford those types of things, and I find myself doing things I wouldn’t normally do in order to ensure that some of those things find their way under the tree. I accept help from the school, and as soon as I can I plan to pay that forward, and return the favor. And I also take advantage of the fact that my kids are old enough now to have some Big Topic Talks.

Which was how, a few weeks ago, I was able to put a plan into motion. It went kinda like this:

Me: So, Santa’s broke, still. And I was thinking…
Peppermist: Did it hurt?
Pup: Thought I smelt something burnin…
Me: …brats. I was thinking that WE(Wii) might ask Santa for one family gift that WE(Wii) might enjoy together, that WE(Wii) might like instead of individual gifts.

It took them a couple minutes, but finally it broke through and the cheers went up “WE(Wii) WOULD LOVE THAT.”

The boy, of course, said he didn’t care. He was more about things for his truck, and tools, than anything else. So while I put things for that into motion behind the scenes, I worked to get the Wii the girls wanted so desperately. The boy was then THRILLED to discover extra cash in his account for the truck. Mission accomplished.

The other request was one of those stupid fuckin’ Zhu Zhu pets. Those things, with all the accessories that the pup wanted with it, too, are way to expensive. Instead, then, while she was hiding out at Aunties, the teens and I got her a REAL hamster, cage, ball and book about the care and keeping of the little bugger. She was THRILLED – well, first, she was confused because we gave her everything in the box the cage came in, THEN brought out the hamster from where he’d been hiding in Peppermist’s room – THEN she as THRILLED. And shocked. And NutterButter has a doting human to shower him with affection – and I still came out ahead cash-wise. Heh.

The smiles on my kids – and my niece and nephews – faces is more than enough of a gift for me. That’s all I want, is for them to feel special everyday – but at Christmas especially. But the Boy… that darn boy… He decided it wasn’t going to be enough for HIM this Christmas. He wanted me to feel special, to have something I wanted, but would never get for myself, or let him get for me had I known he planned too. It was too much – and I was completely shocked…

Yup – that’s an iPod Touch (cradled next to my many chins), and my son? Is in SO MUCH TROUBLE… as soon as I get over the awesomeness of my new toy…

… yeah, he’s pretty safe. And has been excused from gift giving to mom for like, the next 2-5 years of birthdays, mother’s days and Christmases. hehe.

So here’s hoping that you and yours were able to get some of the things you needed, some of the things you wanted, and more importantly, were able to see though the squeals and squabbles and mounds of shredded wrapping paper to discover just how special your family is as they crowded around you. Especially if they were nice enough to give you ONE DAY to take as many pictures as you wanted, without making faces, hiding, or worse.

Even if it makes you see JUST HOW TALL your lil tiny baby is next to you and Nana… Sigh.

Merry Christmas, PTB readers. Bring on the New Year!

So, my son, while he was still driving my car a couple days ago (His truck is fixed now, WHEEE! Well, mostly. It was making an odd noise when the Boy left for work… anyway) I got this GIDDY call from my sister.

Her: I’m TELLIN!
Me:…tellin what? (damn, what did I do?
Her: Did your son call you?
Me: …. nooooooooo (oh shit, what did HE do now…)
Her: he just called Uncle to pull him out of the DITCH!
Me: ….in MY CAR?

So yes. The boy had gone around the corner, and in his typical fashion (I imagine) was “drifting” (though I’ve TOLD him that drifting is done on PAVEMENT not snow – what they do is SLIDING) and put himself in the ditch. At least, that’s what I assumed. I also figured that he wouldn’t call and fess up, because his daddy? NEVER would have.

He surprised me.

Boy: So… has your car been in the ditch yet?
Me: Not while I’VE been driving it..
Boy: CRAP. Auntie tattled, didn’t she.
Me; Oh yes she did.

Now, the boy’s story is this: He was minding his own business, driving down the middle of the road and SUDDENLY AND HE DOESN’T KNOW HOW OR WHY he was in the ditch, and unable to get out, even with my 4×4.

Umhm. He still sticking to the story too. Uncle pulled him out, he got to work on time, and I forgot about it really, until Auntie and I went shopping together today and I went and picked her up. And she pointed out the tire tracks. Now, I’m not gonna continue to tell the boy that _I_ think he was “drifting” and slid too far, because he knows. However, I WILL give you the following evidence and let you decide yourself.

Observe:

Now, sure. SOME of those tracks are from the Truck that pulled him out. HOWEVER, please note the width of the road:

Ummmmmmmmhmmmmmm.
I rest my case.

You, my darling son, can tell me whatever ya like – but you been BUSTED.

For all of you parents whose kids – like mine – are pleading that hey get a gaming system finally omg mom EVERYONE ELSE HAS A Wii for Christmas LAST year – This is for you.

Rockin’ it old school Nintendo style + A Capella show choir = WIN.

Yeah.

FINISH HIM!
(still giggling)

Wow. Today’s the last day of school before vacation for my rugrats, and others around the country are being let out tomorrow – and you know what that means… only a few days left to shop, and also? The kids will be HOME for TWO WEEKS.

I give it less than 24 hours before I hear the first “I’m bored!” But that’s Ok, because I’ve a WHOLE LIST of “Honeydos” for when they’re silly enough to say such things. You know, “honey, do this… honey, do that…” – it works for more than just husbands!

One thing I’ve noticed about the kids as they enter pre-teen and teen years, is that while the presents get smaller, they’re more expensive! But here’s one for your (and my!) girls who are ages 8-14!

It’s called the “New Moon Girls“, and there is an online community and a bi-monthly print magazine, too. The chats are moderated, and there’s a staff member online at all times to ensure the safety of the girls. It’s an ad-free space that’s by girls for girls, where they can share their thoughts, opinions, poetry and artwork in an environment meant to help boost their self-esteem, positive body image and confidence.

You can get a 30 day free trial, and then it’s just $29.95 for a full years access, which includes the bi-monthly magazine too. (You can see the current magazine here.)

You know me, I’m all for safe and positive places for our girls, where they can express themselves and be the strong amazing people we know them to be! So check it out today!

…not Sandra Dee…

We’ve had a bit of disappointment on the Grease stage. It seems that, although every other school trip is planned over Spring Break, the Band trip that Peppermist is going on, is in FEBRUARY. The week before Grease hits the stage. Unfortunately, this conflict was too big of one to overcome, and Peppermist had to drop out of the chorus.

I’m bummed.
Peppermist is completely ok with this, however.

She was still feeling pretty lonely without her friends there to enjoy the experience with her. Friends that are scared to come into my house right now because they read the previous post about my being Not. Happy about them ditching Peppermist at the auditions. Hahah! They came bearing cookies yesterday to bribe their way back into my good graces. Smart girls…

So, while we’re disappointed, Peppermist is clearly looking at the bright side of things. “This means I get to WATCH it! Which is TOTALLY what I’d rather do than just be in the CHORUS.” So, when she returns from her Band Trip, all flush with excitement and new experiences, she and I have a date to watch the play – and sing along from the audience.

And that’s just fine for the both of us.
(And it makes it safe for her friends to come around again. Bonus! )

Oh what a long weekend! While the little stabby dudes of doom are still stabbitying my lower back, it didn’t stop me from doing the Proud Mama thing all weekend long. Because that’s simply how I roll… (…I’m such a gangsta, yo!)

Saturday was the first swim meet of the season for the Pup, The Candy Cane Splash, which meant hopping into Nana’s car at the bright and early and happy hour of 5am – after having slept about 2 hours myself – and heading north to Seward. Papa offered us some cash if we “needed it” and we decided we “needed breakfast and coffee” so that worked out well too.

We got to the pool right at 8am, where the kids all hopped into the pool for warmups to get ready for the day. And what a successful day it was! All of our kids did well – the Pup, and my niece and two of my nephews (the third stayed at home to play with Peppermist and the puppies), and The Pup is EXTREMELY proud that along with destroying some of her times from last year, she also never once came in last in any of her heats! For a girl who struggled last year to get the strokes down, not DQ, and simply finish a little better than she had the time before, this was a HUGE moral boost for our waterbaby! Even the coach commented that she was a LOT stronger this year, and all her work during the off season paid off for her big time.

So for those who’d like to share a little bit of the day – here’s my Pup in all her swimming glory, in 5 events. I have videos of all our kids, of course, and you can click through to see how AMAZING they are too if you like!

Just ignore the crazy lady shouting encouragements in the background. I have NO idea who she is – someone really aughta gag her…

We arrived back into town in the early evening, and all the kids collapsed for some sleep. And by “all the kids” I totally mean me, as I pretended to watch a movie with the Pup and instead got yelled at for snoring. WHATEVER.

The fun wasn’t over yet though, as yesterday was the Annual December Band Concert for the high school and junior high bands. Peppermist has been in band since the 5th grade, so we’re getting quite used to all of these concerts, and measuring just how much improvement the kids have from concert to concert, year to year.

Yesterday’s concert was amazing – with only a few bobbles here and there, and some really good solos as well – which made it an enjoyable way to spend the afternoon.

One of the best parts about it though is the Charlie Brown Tree in front. APPARENTLY Charlie Brown is “cool” again, and I simply didn’t know it.

Peppermist: Charlie Brown is AWESOME. Charlie Brown is ALWAYS cool.
Me: … you kids gotta TELL me these things!
Peppermist: pfft. Some things you just know. Gawd, Mom.

So that was my weekend – How was YOURS?!

Could someone message the little ice-pick wielding dudes currently stabbing me in the lower back and tell them to knock it off? I appreciate it! I meant to let you all know some things yesterday, but then ice-pick wielding dudes, and I sooooooooorta lost focus! Haha! But I’m soldiering through today, for I know you can’t live without my special brand of snarkitude, right? Right!

No snarking necessary here though – because it’s all about Congrats!

1. Peppermist got a part in Grease! While she was certain that everyone who auditioned got a part in the Chorus like she did, I know for a fact that they did NOT, which means she beat out quite a few in order to snag her spot! And the Chorus for this show is HUGE, with MANY songs, and a LOT of stage time!

Her friends all bailed on her – which makes me wanna wap ‘em in the head – and as a result Peppermist is a little nervous with each rehersal, but she can’t deny that she comes home with a smile. They’ve worked with her one scheduling conflict (tap dance on tuesdays) and are genuinely thrilled to have her.

And it gets conversations like this:

Me: How was practice?
Peppermist: Awkward! We learned the rest of the choreography for “We Go Together” – which is partner work! I was standing there sorta like “Hm, Ihave no partner, I’ll just stand here, embarrassed” and then there was a guy next to me who was sorta like “Hm, I have no partner, I’ll just stand here, embarrassed” and lo, we became partners.
Me: OH OH OH! WAS HE CUTE?
Peppermist: OMG MOM.
Me: WAS HE?
Peppermist: I guess.
Me: What’s his name?
Peppermist: I don’t know! What, you expected us to TALK?!
Me:…no. of course not, child. That’d be INSANITY right there…

So she’s, ya know, making friends and influencing people, just as she should.

2. The always lovely Deana dropped me a note this morning to let me know who won the GE Strong as Steel Sweepstakes! Congrats go to Katie H. from Fort Worth, TX (who’s chosen a fridge!) who won through Bargain Hunting Moms! We’re so happy for you both – and only a TEENY TINY LITTLE BIT TOTALLY OMG JEALOUS.

3. Watch this space, cuz guess what? it’s SWIM TEAM TIME! First meet on Saturday in Seward, which means Nana, the pup and I, along with Auntie and her kiddos will be carpooling up that direction WAY early on Saturday morning. So if you hear many cheers wafting your way from up north? It’s the crazy lady with the camera, screamin like crazy for all my Swim Team kiddos.

And now I’m gonna go curl up against my hot water bottle and listen to GLEE sountrack for a while. Have a great day, ya’ll!

Hey parents! Here’s something just for you!

There’s a new show premiering on TNT tonight, that all of us can relate a little too. It’s the story of our husbands, brothers, best friends – here’s the official blurb:

John Lennon once wrote, “Life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans.” For three men entering the second act of their lives, those words are starting to hit home in TNT’s newest original series, Men of a Certain Age.

The show follows three longtime friends as they navigate the changes and challenges of parenting, relationships and careers in mid-life.

Men of a Certain age stars Ray Romano (Everybody Loves Raymond) Scott Bakula (Quantum Leap, Star Trek: Enterprise) and Andre Braugher (Homicide: Life on the Street).

The ever lovely Deana sent me a preview of the first episode (on the COOLEST little mix tape USB, that I am completely in love with!), and for fans of Ramano and Bakula like me, it is sure to be a winner! It has the same qualities in the men we love, and I’m sure we can all recognize some of our husbands, best friends, and brothers in the stories of Joe, Terry and Owen.

Check out this preview:

Men of a Certain Age premieres tonight at 10/9c on TNT. Check it out!