Posts Tagged ‘boys’

When we had The Boy, I was momentarily terrified. I mean, I had a sister, no brothers, my mother was a sister, no brothers, my dad raised daughters, and well, who knew how to raise a BOY? And more importantly, how do we raise a BOY who is sensitive enough that all the girls (and their mama’s and papa’s) will be pleased to know him, but who can also kick as when he needed too? I mean, I WAS a girl. Girls I understand. (and, sorta, ya know, fear. haha.) But a BOY?

Fortunately, as my kids are fond of saying, I have the mind of a 16 year old boy, and I think we’ve managed to do pretty well in the past almost 18 years. The boy is strong, sensitive, knows when to fight, when to back down, and most importantly, treats the girls he knows (aside from his sisters, of course) with the utmost respect. They turn to him as the best friend, the one with the strong shoulders, the one they can talk too, who will respect them and not ask for anything in return.

This of course means he doesn’t have a girlfriend – but as I keep telling him, girls marry their best friends, not the asshole badboys. So hang in there, your time is coming…

So how did it come about? There were a few times of disagreement with my husband, but the one thing he ALWAYS insisted on was that The boy never hit a girl. Ever. He and I even fought over that a bit, because I was of the mind that if a girl hauled off and punched him in the face, she kinda deserved what she dished out. Heh. We compromised by teaching the Boy that to hold her so she CANT hit him again is ok. Then it never ever came up, so we didn’t have to worry – because he IS so sweet to his feminine counterparts.

My dad always said that in raising boys, you only had to worry about “one prick in town” but to raise girls was to worry of “every prick in town!” and I’m pleased as all get out to know that the boy is someone parents are pleased to know, that parents trust with their daughters, because he cares for them and takes care of them too. The boy even hugs his mama in public and still tells me that he loves me every single day – even in front of his friends.

So what advice to I have for the raising of boys?
Let them explore. They’re going to do stupid shit – things we think are dangerous, but that’s how boys learn not to do that again (or to do it differently). Remind them that no matter WHAT they do, you’ll be there to pick them up, so that when someone else does something stupid, they’ll be there to do the same. Teach them to respect women, teach him to defend them, and to defend himself. Teach your sons to listen, to think before they act, that it’s not a bad thing to have feelings, and to question why. Sounds lofty, huh? How do you do that?

Lead by example.
It’s really that simple.

Now go hug your boy, and ask him how his day was, huh?

Counting down, Letterman style…

5. Power Tools Make Boys Happy.
Now, I’m sure they make girls happy too, but well, we’re talking about The Boy here, and he has that gene that makes his eyes light up when he plugs in a power tool. That evil little gleam that he inherited from his father, that says “I can TAKE STUFF APART with this!” I always wondered why that gleam didn’t also say “I can FIX THINGS with this!” too.

4. I never worry about him NAPPING in shop class.
For the boy who prefers to sleep his way through high school, this is a plus. A love of Power Tools and Many Loud Noises means he’s not sleeping in at least ONE class this semester!

3. It’s useful stuff, they’re learning!
This isn’t algebra, where you are sure you’ll never use it again – never in the history of EVER, even. This is a class that teaches them how to fix things around the house. AKA: Make Mom Happy. In theory, anyway, as that doesn’t mean they ARE fixing stuff around the house. It just means they CAN fix things around the house. With their power tools. That they love. And use to dismantle entire rooms.

2. They teach them stuff about CARS too!
Like, more than “this is where the key goes, car goes vroom!” stuff! That’s the extent of my car knowledge, but the boy? He’s rewired The Beast’s wire harness, fixed headlights, tail lights, checked fluids, rebuilt full engines, done oil changes… this is all useful stuff for my son to know! Why? Because…

1. He VOLUNTEERED to take MY CAR to school today for an oil change!
That’s right. I bought the oil, the filter, and handed him the keys, and I get a free oil change from the boys at school. Even without all that other stuff? That would CERTAINLY be reason enough to have you’re kids take shop class, right? EXACTLY right!

… I wonder if I can get Peppermist to take shop class next year…

Think if I bribe her with the picture above – and promise her that’s what ALL the boys in shop class look like that – think that’ll work?