Posts Tagged ‘good parenting’

Nana got herself a ‘good parenting’ pin recently, which is awesome, cuz she done pretty damn good with me, if I do say so myself – and she shared with me what it said on the back. There’s some good stuff here – though they missed one. I’ll tack it on at the end. And comment, of course, because you know I have an opinion!

Here we go:

* Use effective discipline, not as punishment, but so your child learns self-discipline.

The key word here is USE. Don’t be afraid to discipline your child! Don’t make ME have to do it for you in the middle of a supermarket. Don’t make ME have to teach your kids right from wrong. Don’t rely on the school – or ME – to teach your kids core values that they should have learned years ago. You spread your legs and had a kid. Step up and do your JOB.

(this is not directed at any of the kids I have at my house regularly. They’re awesome! )

* Teach friendship and conflict resolution skills

Remember when you were young, and you and your best friend would fight over something stupid and it was the END OF THE WORLD and your mom would tell you to talk it out? And you hated to do it because somehow that would mean you were wrong, but then it ended up that your friend wanted to talk it out too, and you both were BFFs again by the end of the day? Yeah. Teach that.

* Be a good role model to teach character and values

Tolerance, understanding, compassion, forgiveness, acceptance, love. By example, folks. It’s the only way.

* Let your child learn from mistakes and disappointment

Man. The parents that refuse to allow their kids to fail? DRIVE ME UP A WALL. How the hell do you expect them to function in the real world if they haven’t learned to learn from their mistakes and disappointments? Protecting them is one thing – hobbling them is another thing entirely.

* Follow a daily routine for consistency and structure

I did this much better when they were young. Now, well, everyone’s routines are on different schedules. Sometimes you just do the best you can, and make sure that you’re connecting along the way.

* Tell and show your child that you love and accept them

AMENAMENAMENAMEN. You’re child’s one true champion is you, their parent. They need to know that no matter what, you will love and accept them. This INCLUDES if they are homosexual, they end up pregnant, they make mistakes, etc. You are their one rock. Make sur they know that you will not turn your back on them.

* Be a coach, not a critic, to instill a positive inner voice

You are their support team, you are their coach, you are the one they expect guidance from. Don’t destroy that by constantly telling them what they are doing wrong. Instead, help nurture that inner voice by telling them what they’ve done right, and how they can do things better.

* Teach your child emotion management skills and tools

I have a child that hits doors. I have a child that throws pillows. I have a child that screams into her stuffed animals. I have a child that cries at the drop of the hat – and turns it off when you call her on it. I have a child that used to slam doors – until he lost that door and his privacy for a while. I have a child that stomps. I have a child that glares.

I have three VERY NORMAL CHILDREN when it comes to dealing with emotions. They learn from example – and I have done all of those (cept the crying. That drives me batshit at any age.). They don’t do all of those anymore, or even some of them – but it’s our job to teach our children how to handle emotional overload – by example.

I’m Irish. Sometimes you need to scream. Doing so into your stuffed animal’s belly is MUCH better release then doing it unintended at someone you love.

* Show interest in your child’s education and activities

Every little league game. Every basketball game. Every concert – choir AND band. Every swim meet. Every twirl girl performance I can get too. Every kindergarten parent lunch with crappy food and loads of other people’s kids. EVERY little thing I can attend for my kids, I’m there. Once, at a band concert, one of my daughter’s friends told me “I’m so glad you’re here, mom. My parents NEVER come to ANYTHING.” and it broke my heart. It doesn’t matter if your ears BLEED afterwards – be there for your kids. THATS what they want.

BE THERE. My parent’s were there for me, and are there for my kids too. BE THERE. There is nothing more important than making sure you’re kids know they are important enough to you for you to BE THERE.

* Keep family traditions to create positive memories

This goes hand in hand with the one above – it’s about positive reinforcement, ya’ll. DOOOOO EEEEEEEEET.

And the one they forgot – you know what I’m gonna say, right? Ready? Here we go:

TALK TO YOUR KIDS!

You’ll be amazed at what you’ll learn.