Posts Tagged ‘Teens on Teens’

You’ll notice that on here, I rarely use my kids real names, though I do use actual pictures now and again. At most an initial, a nickname, something that makes it a little more difficult to trace. I do this out of respect for my teenagers – and their privacy.

But that’s a tenuous thing – teenage privacy. Lindsay, over at Suburban Turmoil at the Nashville Scene broached the subject a couple days ago. When her girls mention a new member of their group, she dives into facebook profiles and makes sure they’re the type of kid her girls should hang out with. She even uses Google Earth, to find their home when there’s parties.

I’m sure Lindsay isn’t alone in this – many parents take advantage of their friends facebook and social networking skills to keep an eye on their kids. Lindsay limits her stalking to what’s publicly available on the ‘Net for the most part, as they are her step-daughters, but admits that with her own kids, all bets are off if she suspects something is wrong. I’m going to ignore the difference there – as I’d treat them all the same, myself, but that’s how it works for her family, so that’s good for them. However – how deep should a parent go when it comes to their teenagers privacy?

I know most teens want parents to butt out – and I know most parents won’t. And I don’t think they should. As I told my kids, all along – no matter where you are, imagine me RIGHT BEHIND YOU, watching. I have spies EVERYWHERE, and I WILL find out. They only pushed against it a couple times, then discovered that indeed, mom DID have friends everywhere, and even something so simple as walking across the highway to a different store was noted and reported back to mom. Can’t get away with NUTHIN in this small town, GOSH.

If you’ve taught your teens to be aware that you WILL be randomly checking in on them – chances are they won’t misbehave. Too much. Sure they’ll push, it’s what they DO. It’s our job to find a happy medium.

Would I search my kids rooms randomly for no reason? No. If I suspected there was something really wrong? Absolutely. Once, I was talking to my son in his room, and was leaning against the fridge, and randomly popped it open. His jaw DROPPED because he knew what I’d find in there – and INSTANTLY confessed that it was there, it wasn’t his, it was unopened, he was just holding it for someone. He was telling the truth – about it being unopened, at least, which lead me to believe the rest. I didn’t demand that he nark o his friend, whichever one it was that had put the bottle in there. I simply demanded it be removed, and it not happen again, and why. The bottle disappeared, the situation has never happened re-occurred, and they know I’m prone to randomly opening their fridge. Or cupboard. Or lifting a stack of books I happen to be standing next to at the time while we talk. I fidget – and I use it to my advantage.

I think the bottom line is this: if you suspect something is actively WRONG, then do some snooping. Otherwise, find a comfortable medium for you and your teens. Which means – and you know exactly what I’m going to say here, right? Here we go, let’s say it together, ok? 1. 2. 3.

TALK TO YOUR KIDS.

Sometimes, it’s really that simple.

[There are a wealth of things available to help keep track of your teens - we'll get to them tomorrow...]

Wow – lookit that! After I hit publish on this puppy, I will have posted 15 days in a row, one for each day in November! Of course, it’s not always in the morning, and once there was even a “oh crap! here! have a picture of snow!” – but none the less, we’ve made it halfway through the month! Hurray! How are my other NaBloPoMo-mates doing?

(…don’t ask about NaNoWriMo… Shhh.)

So! Today, I wanted to point you to another site, which my lovely Mama pointed me too. She works for the local Women’s Shelter, which councils women who are in domestic violence situations. As we know, this often starts in the teenage years – with the first relationships, so that’s where we need to start, and Start Strong is an initiative that aims to do just that.

Start Strong: Building Healthy Teen Relationships is the largest initiatve ever to be funded to target the 11-14 year olds. It aims to rally entire communities to promote healthy relationships, and uses the Start Strong Mode to:
– educate and engage youth in and out of school settings,
– educate and engage teen influencers such as parents and caregivers, teachers and other mentors,
– change policy and environmental factors, and
– implement effective communications and social marketing strategies.

Start STrong has started in 11 communities, and hopes to expand. If you’re near Atlanta, Austin, Boston, Bridgeport, Bronx, Idaho, Indianapolis, Los Angeles, Oakland, Providence or Wichita, please check them out, and consider getting your teens involved.

Healthy relationships start at home, and every added bit we can do to educate our teens is well worth it – so check them out!

Anyone who’s read any of my numerous blogs knows that I have a possibly unhealthy love for reality TV. It tickles my fancy, it reminds me that people are NUTS, and that my life? is not so bad. In fact, my life? is pretty darn good, and my kids are better than yours, and while we’re not perfect, we’re not airing our dirty laundry on the television!

(Just on the internets. SHHHH. That’s TOTALLY different!)

Anyway, I was flipping through channels last night, and while I tend to avoid the UBER trashy MTV and VH1 versions of reality TV as there are some levels even I won’t stoop too, I came across a series on CMT. (Anyone else remember when the music channels played, ya know, music? No? Just me? OK then.) It was called World’s Strictest Parents and I was instantly hooked. Thank goodness it was a 4 episode marathon!

The premise is simple – take two “bad” kids, and put them up with an uber strict family for a week, make them earn their keep, suffer the horrors of discipline and structure, and then send them home again after chatting with their parents. It’s like a cross between SuperNanny and Wife Swap and Boot Camp for Unruly Teenagers. In a word, it’s AWESOME.

These aren’t *bad* teens by any means. They’re rebellious and foul mouthed and they are pushing boundaries and getting a little out of control. What’s amazing though is seeing the turnaround when they discover that a perfect stranger cares enough about them to instill discipline and a sense of hard work and accomplishment. One family stripped the teens’ bedrooms to the bare essentials, and made them earn not only the bed, dresser, television – but also their clothing. They got one of their own outfits, and one bought for them, and had to earn the rest. While the teens understandably complained and LOUDLY over this practice, by the end of the week when they’d earned everything back again, you could SEE how much it meant to them as they realized they’d taken so many things for granted.

Now sure, I’d LOVE to see them do a “checking in with the teens 6 months later” show and see how much of it stuck. And it’s Reality TV which isn’t ALWAYS reality. But it does show something I keep preaching around here until I’m blue in the face. Ready? Say it with me!

TALK TO YOUR KIDS.
DISCIPLINE YOUR KIDS.
THEY WILL LOVE YOU MORE FOR IT.

So what’re you waiting for? Go say hi to your kid, already!

~~~~~~~~~~

Psst: Don’t forget to CLICK HERE, and enter this week’s giveaway!

No, no no. Not the “Omgewgrosspopthatbeforeittakesovertheworld” kind, but the cartoon kind!

That still sounds bad.

Anyway – the comic strip Zits, is finally letting one of it’s characters come of age! The ever lovely Marissa let me know earlier this month that all through August we can watch the star character, Jeremy Duncan, turn 16 and get his driver’s license. As we’ve been talking on that very subject here, it seemed a perfect place to spread the word (Though my apologies to Marissa, as it took me so long due to the change of venue from 451!).

Here’s a little bit more about the comic:

Zits Star FINALLY Gets a Driver’s License

New York, NY July 22, 2009 – At last! After 12 angst-filled years of being 15 years old, Jeremy Duncan is finally having a birthday, turning 16 and completing one of a teenager’s greatest rites of passage – taking his road test. Will he pass or fail? Will he finally drive his parents over the edge with his driving? Only time will tell.

In a special series that begins Mon., Aug. 3, fans of Jerry Scott and Jim Borgman’s popular Zits comic strip will be able to follow their favorite teen as he comes of age in the newspaper comics, both in print and in King Features’ new Comics Kingdom online portal. To see the series, please visit one of more than 40 Comics Kingdom partner news sites, including the New York Daily News, Denver Post, San Antonio Express-News, Toronto Star, Las Vegas Review Journal, Santa Fe New Mexican, Spokesman Review, Sarasota Herald-Tribune and Tulsa World.

When asked why they decided to tamper with the age of their strip’s star after 12 highly successful years in syndication, Scott and Borgman responded, “About the meanest thing you could do is freeze someone at 15. After a dozen years our consciences have gotten the better of us. It’s time to let the kid drive.”

Distributed by King Features to more than 1,600 newspapers in 45 countries and 15 languages, Zits features the daily adventures of the quintessential teenager With his loving parents, Walt and Connie Duncan, his best friend, Hector, and his on-again, off-again girlfriend, Sara Toomey, by his side, the perpetually slouching and disheveled Jeremy treads the murky waters of adolescence in oversized sneakers.

Zits is the brainchild of Pulitzer Prize-winning artist Jim Borgman, and award-winning cartoonist-writer Jerry Scott, who also co-creates the popular “Baby Blues” strip. Zits established itself early when it launched in July 1997 in more than 200 newspapers – one of the largest start-ups in comics history.

And my son thought I made HIM wait a long time for his license!

Did Jeremy pass? Find out here! And thanks Marissa for letting us know!